@verymrsgagewinn's (Mrs Gagewinn) most faved Tweets...
Take it from me, know the exact length of rope you need for autoerotic asphyxiation rather than asking the kid at Home Depot to 'guestimate'
If I get a nemesis hooked on smoking then convince them to try Chantix and they act on suicidal thoughts, that premeditated or are we cool?
It's a lot easier to pick up the phone and increase your homeowner's policy than to go out and shovel your sidewalks.
Growing up every house you went to had a giant wood fork and spoon on the wall, now that I’m a homeowner, I can’t find them to save my life.
Brett Favre just said in an interview his ultimate goal was to get to Miami. Does he not know about Travelocity?
If I had a dollar for every one of my followers I could pay my electricity bill and continue posting on Twitter.
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Dude from work I saw at the mall, you can avoid eye contact, but it doesn’t change the fact that I saw you sitting in that pedicure chair.
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My Tweets with more than 2 stars are so incredibly rare Discovery channel is doing a documentary on them.
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Experts who claim that the sloth is the slowest moving creature haven't seen my 4 year old in the morning.
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The local KFC doesn't offer valet parking but to make a few bucks on the weekend I assume the role.
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