Call me olfactioned, but I think taste is largely determined by smell.

There is a new hooker downtown. She is blind but she does really well. You have to hand it to her.

I keep writing Dick Clark is still alive on all my checks.

@redwithenvy I Just Called To Say I Tested Positive #RealisticSongTitles

The dentist waiting room was a video of a chimp getting its teeth cleaned. Unsure if it was specific for me but I was the only one in there.

The relationship between your vagina and asshole will always be tainted, anatomically.

My new porn name is Christian Mingle.

My poop jokes are always a little corny.

Einstein often deduced while he was in the bathroom.

I met a nice lesbian couple at the fish market today but nobody believes me.

I think the best advice Mr. Myagi ever gave to Daniel-San was to make sure that your acting career doesn't peak too early.

My ex asked me why I felt weird when she used to pee with the door open. It was because I had never seen a piece of shit take a piss before.

boy play with girl during wrong period get caught red handed!

bend you over like a shotgun

My life. Is just like a movie. If they also farted in movies.

Blondes spend more time masturbating because it takes them longer to finger it out.

I gotta get one of those Crown Royal bags to put my junk in when I tan. My penis is way too small to be this brown.

my name is louis and i eat where the poo is

I love my diet so much I could marry a vegetable.

Jim Shorts