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Quote of the day from a trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."
Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball and you just don't know enough about baseball to finish the metaphor...
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
If it weren't for electricity we would all be watching television by candlelight. -George Goebel
A MOTHER makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a GIRL can makes him STUPID in 2 minutes.
"Boob" is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view, and the b looks like the side view.
I don’t believe in spanking my kids. I find that waving the gun around accomplishes the same thing.
When your wife pregnant, all her friends rub her belly and say 'congratulations'. But nobody rubs your dick and says 'good job'!
WIFE: I have changed my mind. HUSBAND: Thank God! Does the new one work now?
Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.
The party was going well at my house until someone smashed the Ouija board. That's when all hell broke loose.
My mum always told me never to put all my eggs in one basket.Which made it very difficult for me to steal from grocery shops
When I was at school I belonged to a gang called d Secret 7.we swore to secrecy. We were so good that I never found out who the other 6 were
I think it's funny this site exists.
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