Oh who gives a shit about an STD, I'm gonna gain weight.

Spraying whip cream into my mouth because I'm a seductive and obese bitch

My initials are 'MJ'. Yea boiii, where's ma monkeiii?

All you need is love and a cat

What's black and white black and white? ... A nun rolling down a hill. What's black and white and laughing?... The nun who pushed her

What separates the man from the monster? - Mary Shelley

I'm the best thing since Wham.

@gina_rochelle concerned, I'm sure his 'friend' is just a weird pet name for his psychopathic twin brother.

And now to end the Olympics, a human sacrifice.

OMG JOHN LENNON I'M GOING TO CRY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN. #youmaysaythatimadreamer

Either some guy called Bolt has won a medal or marvel comics are really at their peak.

I've had a great birthday, thanks to everyone :) x

Its my birthday tomorrow. Usually I'm always really excited but tbh I couldn't give a shit :/

I'm great at being not so great

For every reason you give me to trust you, its somehow ruined by the one mistake you always make.

Follow these guys if you like cats and boobs #ff @crypticbullshit @jack_grizzly @foxxtailsoup @iamyokoo @brokentv @cosmicvagrant

Planet Earth Live is extraordinary. Nawwh, I love animals

Sarcasm, because smacking someone in the face with a brick is illegal

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wonder are lost.

#thingsigottateachmyson treat animals with as much love as I will give you.