My dad once said to me, "Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you"

Here i thought you were a whore with a heart of gold.. turns out your just a whore with a regular whores heart!

Why am I so thirsty this morning, when I drank so much last night?

This is about me loving you... for real. And not in a 'just to make me cum' kinda way, in a real way..

I love women. Every fucking one of them, even the ugly as shit ones. But don't ask me to trust 'em.

I set my standards pretty low so I'm never disappointed

Scooby Doo taught us that the real monsters are Humans

You think you know, but you have no idea...

Listen here you beautiful bitch I'm about to fuck you up with some truth

Stay away from kids, drugs.

I'm like the Lion King because everything I see is mine

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer

Shit happens when you party naked!

I should've been a lawyer cause I'm such a good liar

Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful

Esta pelona y quiere chongo

I'm what you made God, fuck yes I'm so odd. Thinking bout my old friends who weren't my friends all along..

People can come up with statistics to prove anything, 14% of people know that.

The only job I need, is a BLOWjob

I'm bad the the names, so I call them all Baby..