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Desparation: thy name is local TV news.
"Everyone in this country is stupid, and short." - Abe Lincoln
"But we still get to keep our slaves, right?" - Thomas Jefferson, just before signing the Declaration of Independance
Ths isn't facebook, no one gives a fuck about your pets.
Maybe the reason you're not pregnant is because "he just wasn't that in to you."
Twitter: because some people don't give a fuck when your birthday is.
Never underestimate the power of a smile to really infuriate those of us who know your feeble gestures won't do shit to solve real problems.
If I win the lottery, I'm unfollowing every one of you losers.
"YOU'RE NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!" - Twitter
I bet, when he's at home, James Spader plays some seriously twisted mind games with his kids.
164 followers; I'm totally winning Twitter, bitches.
You're gonna be pretty fuckin' apologetic when you find out that I actually was raised by wolves.
I bet Jason Bateman hates that he inherited John Ritter’s career.
I thought there'd be beer here.
Ashton Kutcher: once again, you've proudly earned the title of America's douchebag laureate.
"Hello some person is posting terrible things about you..." Of course they are; I'm a terrible fucking person.
Follow at your own risk. It is my intent to offend, incense, enrage, and generally piss off the online community, fuckers!