I am most committed to eating healthily right after I have eaten poorly

The best days and the best nights of my life have been those spent with my wife; my incredible friend and love.

In the past 50 years, I think I've told about four women I would "always" love them. As it turns out, I told the truth only once.

Occupiers are plotting how to change the world in the basement of their parents house

@classy_cassy89 When someone knows all your quirks and vulnerabilities and loves you anyway, you can't imagine living a day without them.

For those people selling twitter followers... Please leave me alone. I will never pay $$ for a follower! I much prefer begging and trickery.

I found parenting to be over rated, but I really like being a Grandpa

Don't ever graze at a wedding reception buffet line before the Bride and Groom have been served. Lesson learned.

If the world was perfect, I'd be harvesting pickles from my garden instead of cucumbers

I think it's suspicious that both the pizza and the wheel are the same shape and they are both on my top 10 favorite things list

I have grown up to be a friendlier, cooler and more open minded Archie Bunker type who lives near the Dells.

I had a bad moment when I saw a pic of me and my wife. I noticed her face was half the size of mine. I'm sure it was an optical illusion.

Sometimes, being a good family member is too much work

Eating Chinese food is a quiet reminder for me of how good it is to be an American.

Sometimes love means hanging pictures at 9:30PM and when I think we're finally done, she finds another... Romance gots nothing on me tonight

Happiness does not come from the house you live in but those you share it with.

I've learned when my wife says she needs to run errands it's code for, "I'm going shopping".

Let's just say joy and a peaceful heart are not emotions I feel when hanging Christmas lights.

@anjalindtner thanks for the mention!

I think I'd be a better man if I was more like my wife but I can't commit to being complicated.