What exactly is a Flying Fuck? Is it worth less than a Rat's Ass?

Just noticed that Dick Cheney is younger than John Lennon. Weird.

I wonder how they deal with bodily function odors on the space shuttle?

I bet it smells like sardines in there when it finally lands.

I used to always say "Who comes up with this shit?" Now I know.

If you've ever referred to Ann Coulter as 'Skeletor' #YouMayBeALiberal

If you were to strap Tiny Tim to a vending machine and shove it down a flight of stairs, I bet it would sound a lot like Led Zepplin.

"Viento del gatito" is now officially Spanish for "Pussy fart".

"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose..." So, in order for you to be truly free, we have to take all your stuff. Sorry.

Time for Rush to make good on his promise... Let's go fatty! Move it!

Roberta McCain is the same age as Eva Braun, and therefore...

My vote for worlds ugliest corporate logo: Ford

It's so 1903. Really needs to be updated.

Teasing the Korean.
#madeupsexacts

@jamespmorrison I'd like to see how the local populace would react if they were wearing turbans.

Although, I can't imagine Fred banging his secretary. No wait, I guess I can. She looks kind of like Betty Rubble.

The room service menu said "two eggs any style," so I ordered them doggy style. (via @borowitzreport) got a good 15 minute laugh out of that

I'm convinced that Don Draper is going to look a lot like Fred Flintstone in about 5 or 6 years.

Moose Knuckle & Huckleberry flavored, infused with slightly over-ripe salmon extract.

@therealcherilyn ...love her madly! The best dog personality I've ever known! When she wags that nub - cute as hell!