#ReplaceMovieTitlesWithPope Austin Powers: The Pope Who Shagged Me

#ThingsThatIrritateMe  http://twitpic.com/cm7j3c 

#StarwarsPorn Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

That awkward moment when RIP Taylor Swift is trending and she didn't know she died.

#HowtoMakePeopleMad Unfollow them on twitter.

"A bird bird bird #TheBirdIsTheWord Brian don't you know that the bird is the word? Well Peter will tell you that the bird is the word!"

That awkward moment when Happy Valentines Day is trending...in JUNE!! Come on!!

@cnn WE GOTTA GET THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES OFF THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE!!

#GetAwayWithItAndWin reminds me of Casey Anthony.

RIP Drake: He died of his horrible music. Plus he couldn't get laid.

If I were HOH, I'd put Dan and Jen up, win POV, use it on Jen and put Frank up. That's called playing big brother. #bb14

#driverspledge I will not run people over because murder is illegal in this country.

Wanna watch the Oscars but don't live in the US? Go to  http://ufreetv.com/abc.html !! (cc @buckhollywood)

#newthanksgivingsongs Beauty and the Beef

@theellenshow What did one math book say to the other? "You have too many problems." #ClassicJokeTuesday

@celebfactstory we all did

#MentionSomeoneYouRideForNoMatterWhat I ride the twitter train! Choo choo! Next stop Forever Alonesvile!

#IfYouDontBecomeAFan of Justin Bieber, we can be best friends. If you are a fan of Justin Bieber, no cookies for you.

"Hakuna Matata it's our motto." "What a motto?" "Nothin, whats a motto with you?"

@uberfacts MEOUCH!!