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  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.

    • 2,322
    • FAVS
    pizzasaucebossSpaced_Cowboy00DominaVengeanceMich79Bellhard_luck01BAYATMTheTalkingPipeAgataHosz
    • 1,665
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00sirbeast1269MarabelleBlueI_M_TellingPHunterLandesMich79BellgarrardhayesTheQuietRight
    BrewskermohitrajclaysummersthentherewasmoTheKenyan_fred_dogrobertseuan______10InchesPlusdeLusticiouslloydrangPlaying_DadAllanCresswellChipKellysBallsllvvzzzMrsJekyllsHydejjax44TwinTwistedKyrieFayeSunnyGirl1717MasterOfFuryMrToletoneliserose5
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.

    • 2,248
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmorektkaimToastburglarsummers_sonnySpaced_Cowboy00Whoopdeedoo22Angela6714AmberOhara69
    • 1,306
    • RETWEETS
    BearWithABeard_Scott_A_Gilmoresummers_sonnySpaced_Cowboy00mic28mooTheTalkingPiperaginbull67GingerJ17
    almostapriestMikeZakarianMrsJekyllsHydeKatieBurnettPlaying_DadCVTBabyabrosenthalMascaraBandit10InchesPlus
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    God put men on earth because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    • 1,934
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00Angela6714Angela_T30TheTalkingPiperoper364baliska2Davie_Dave_40BigTxDick
    • 984
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00TheTalkingPipebaliska2iinkedZombieauburnjasonDavie_Dave_40BigTxDickInkedUpKidder
    belle_n_bamaSocial_Mimei_theindianCarolineCaseykillthemessngerllvvzzzginger_xtcMrToletonBrokenZmileMrPeekerplanetleslie
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"

    • 1,636
    • FAVS
    pizzasaucebossRanaHojeijSpaced_Cowboy00scootiekkTheTalkingPiperoper364baliska2BigTxDick
    • 956
    • RETWEETS
    kihugiSpaced_Cowboy00baliska2auburnjasonBigTxDickInkedUpKidderimarocker14SandraTurnbaugh
    mrt1mGroperClevelandMrsJekyllsHydebrittarnettabrosenthalNinjaFuneral______itswrigley________
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."

    • 1,603
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00TheTalkingPipebaliska2BigTxDickNiceShoesWannaFtclancas04phuxacheshannon2703
    • 721
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00BigTxDickruraljulesllucyjonessthom_unofficialsom1twisteddoll_256kp_Pokharel
    nigelgodwinLouisGibboholypurgatorybornmiserable
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

    • 1,412
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00Angela6714AmberOhara69MysteryMedicbaileydevyn77911chatterHatterGunnTheTalkingPipe
    • 851
    • RETWEETS
    scootiekkkjoa514pbms_bitchTheTalkingPipebees_wingzagent_mjbaliska2BigTxDick
    CraigChamberlinTheBeerGuy73AIMMadellynneWindPushedGrassJosesLovesYou_InsanelyNormal__SCBamaManmoreofffmeJP_theAntiHero
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Treat your dog like family or don't have a dog.

    • 993
    • FAVS
    chan_Navcptwinesurfershita3yosaysKnappCollenn0tblondePieknaChaosSufficientCharmSpaced_Cowboy00
    • 727
    • RETWEETS
    JimAtMaximumgabyj1shita3yosaysn0tblondePieknaChaosSufficientCharmBigTxDickskryptx
    GeoroyoparupaajBlaineBruceEliHansenMusic
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Grown ups ask kids, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" because we're looking for ideas.

    • 1,075
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00scootiekkAngela6714TheTalkingPipeColoChiverMILFDianeThee1_4UKayzieMae
    • 628
    • RETWEETS
    TheTalkingPipeKennyD444SolelyBskryptxSteHarperTheodorCrouseDaveylevinsohnenvydatropic
    ScottBerghorndinokittenTweetTheDude
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.

    • 1,114
    • FAVS
    CompleteJainSufficientCharmSpaced_Cowboy00scootiekkAngela6714AmberOhara69click4amandalantenengo
    • 412
    • RETWEETS
    SufficientCharmTheTalkingPipebaliska2NadineOWKireiOniBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbry
    DionneMcNuttmantejrossbransonCarmel_Coleman
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    The best twit followers are intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk or high.

    • 1,014
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00BigTxDickjust1foolThee1_4UruraljulesSolelyBHorribleDancercjteller09
    • 457
    • RETWEETS
    BigTxDickjust1foolBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbryPowKaPowBoomcoalslagCasino_Diva
    madamesnooty______
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Twitter is starting to make sense. Time to up my medication.

    • 957
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00Angela6714gigi1333Amelia_DrawsLisaKohlbrennerTheTalkingPipeBigTxDickADDChickie
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    Angela6714TheTalkingPipeBigTxDickjust1foolHollyNrsBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbry
    TampaBayMommaChipKellysBallsmissekay
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Women play with their hair at traffic lights because they don't have any balls to scratch.

    • 837
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00ruraljulesSolelyBHorribleDancerhGr33nKireiOniGreeneyedManiacMiniMeWeeGuy
    • 319
    • RETWEETS
    KireiOniGreeneyedManiacBrowneyed_mamavictoriadixon35belle_n_bamakevinbryPowKaPowBoomcoalslag
    rsynder336________
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    WalMart may have 5 million underpaid employees, but only two work at checkout here.

    • 649
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00ruraljulesSolelyBHorribleDancerJust_that_guy7NotBachibawlzsailormoonie135Browneyed_mama
    • 327
    • RETWEETS
    sailormoonie135Browneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbryCodeLionPowKaPowBoomLuddaddy77florida_gal7
    AnyaLachae7Nichole_Lindsey
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    I bet I could get away with peeing on the floor at PetsMart.

    • 666
    • FAVS
    overeaseePrincess_VespaSufficientCharmSpaced_Cowboy00maehoneybeeThee1_4UruraljulesKireiOni
    • 292
    • RETWEETS
    SufficientCharmAyeangg3iam_lastronautThee1_4UKireiOniBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbry
    cheeky__galadamlucidishesananteater
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Lower your standards, a little more....,. there. Now you can relate to my tweets.

    • 661
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00ruraljulesSolelyBBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamaGodivaInBluepossibilyssLunaFallsDown
    • 263
    • RETWEETS
    Browneyed_mamabelle_n_bamaGodivaInBluepossibilysskcMcCowgirlkevinbryhersratjestyLin_Baker
    mohitraj
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    DAM - Mothers Against Dyslexia

    • 677
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00ruraljulesSolelyBBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbrymiss_foofoocoalslag
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    Browneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbrycoalslagLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorgirl_a_whirlkorn_crue
    seanmoriartyMVInkdhawaiianBlondAmbitionTOHeatherLuvsYou
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    I'll gladly take a pity star.

    • 647
    • FAVS
    just1foolSpaced_Cowboy00Thee1_4UruraljulesSolelyBcjteller09Browneyed_mamaSarahmohammz
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    just1foolBrowneyed_mamaCyranoSinatrabelle_n_bamaolievlkevinbryAlongCameAnjacoalslag
    SteveDutzy
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    If the enemy is in range, so are you.

    • 587
    • FAVS
    just1foolSpaced_Cowboy00raginbull67BrianIncognitoSolelyBNadineOWhGr33nKireiOni
    • 181
    • RETWEETS
    just1foolraginbull67GingerJ17KireiOniBrowneyed_mamaPussycatPlacebelle_n_bamakevinbry
    BrewskerJackieluvsUK
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    "Noah" spoiler alert: they ran out of food and ate the unicorns.

    • 403
    • FAVS
    just1foolSpaced_Cowboy00angrybirds5150R1CC1Kshannon2703ruraljulesSolelyBKireiOni
    • 237
    • RETWEETS
    just1foolruraljulesKireiOniBrowneyed_mamabelle_n_bamakevinbryTheWildeFishnancy21090
    CVTBabymissekay
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    My psychiatrist diagnosed me easily, "Yours is a common enough personality problem - you're obnoxious."

    • 481
    • FAVS
    shita3yosaysSufficientCharmSpaced_Cowboy00just1foolruraljulesSolelyBellejizzerGreeneyedManiac
    • 129
    • RETWEETS
    SufficientCharmjust1foolBrowneyed_mamaCyranoSinatrabelle_n_bamakevinbrycoalslagrankingTweets
    nayomeewallace
@wesjohnson8

@wesjohnson8
Pro

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.