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  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.

    • 2,379
    • FAVS
    QuietMindIIKYGingerPankajK861bastardangelZaQuilleOhNealGreyPath1jupiterLILYlvardon
    • 1,702
    • RETWEETS
    ashish299KYGingerPankajK861bastardangelGreyPath1HWY301Trolljeffersonmwitijdforshort
    BrewskermohitrajclaysummersthentherewasmoTheKenyan_fred_dogrobertseuan______10InchesPlusdeLusticiouslloydrangPlaying_DadquickpooperChipKellysBallsllvvzzzMrsJekyllsHydejjax44TwinTwistedKyrieFayeSunnyGirl1717MasterOfFuryMrToletoneliserose5
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.

    • 2,298
    • FAVS
    QuietMindIIwaaf86JouseisinMsBishop88docjommd1bastardangelGreyPath1cambuslad
    • 1,335
    • RETWEETS
    waaf86JouseisinMsBishop88jdforshort1bastardangelGreyPath1cambusladDJVanEvery
    almostapriestMikeZakarianMrsJekyllsHydeKatieBurnettPlaying_DadCVTBabyabrosenthalMascaraBandit10InchesPlus
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    God put men on earth because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    • 1,979
    • FAVS
    QuietMindIIGreyPath1DJVanEverydru0887cloudypianosDemoonInsidecharrrllaaLouiepizzo
    • 1,004
    • RETWEETS
    QuietMindIIGreyPath1whaddupbruhhDemoonInsideSexySpainNightsli4mst3w4rtnovicefatherkrishna_van
    sweetcakesbelleSocial_Mimei_theindianCarolineCaseykillthemessngerllvvzzzginger_xtc__MrToletonBrokenZmileMrPeekerplanetleslie
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"

    • 1,674
    • FAVS
    ronty167OrganicOutcastGreyPath1DJVanEverydru0887cloudypianosDemoonInsidecharrrllaa
    • 985
    • RETWEETS
    GreyPath1DJVanEverywhaddupbruhhDemoonInsideciaravenueSexySpainNightsinaprettypickleli4mst3w4rt
    mrt1mGroperClevelandMrsJekyllsHydebrittarnettabrosenthalNinjaFuneral______itswrigley________
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."

    • 1,637
    • FAVS
    QuietMindIIMandajojo6ronty167DJVanEverydru0887cloudypianosDemoonInsidekylesbehonest
    • 743
    • RETWEETS
    QuietMindIIGreyPath1DJVanEveryDemoonInsidejuneohara65Anna_laTickleSexySpainNightsdanute629
    nigelgodwinLouisGibboholypurgatorybornmiserable
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

    • 1,435
    • FAVS
    SLGonzalez81NotBachibawlzdru0887DemoonInsidejuneohara65Gina52263819li4mst3w4rtlasergirl70
    • 863
    • RETWEETS
    dru0887DemoonInsidejuneohara65inaprettypickleli4mst3w4rtlasergirl70katiedx3possibilyss
    CraigChamberlinTheBeerGuy73AIMMadellynneWindPushedGrassJosesLovesYou_InsanelyNormal__SCBamaManmoreofffmeJP_theAntiHero
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    Treat your dog like family or don't have a dog.

    • 1,044
    • FAVS
    QuietMindIIdru0887patti50321OxideLoungeLainie808SpammyjazzhandsGilWhitedaleStonermoog
    • 758
    • RETWEETS
    QuietMindIIdru0887patti50321OxideLoungemiamidecorStonermoogzumikissJudyWeirdo
    GeoroyoparupaajBlaineBruceEliHansenMusic
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    Grown ups ask kids, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" because we're looking for ideas.

    • 1,116
    • FAVS
    LaniBenoJKat4LellisemilykerrIC_hottMallaryVStr8AsARainbowChuckyNookieRJlovestoread
    • 653
    • RETWEETS
    mrkernalstowergrliyiyi27CezarPlsirameyDanicusRexDyneshanicoleGingerGander
    GreyPath1ScottBerghorndinokittenTweetTheDude
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.

    • 1,140
    • FAVS
    DJVanEveryCasino_Divadru0887DemoonInsidejuneohara65naturesbabiluvCPTWonderfuckMekii_Tekii
    • 429
    • RETWEETS
    Casino_DivaDemoonInsidenaturesbabiluvAbdulHaseeb62Mrs_AdamLevine1AmyLouise84DDaddyJewli4mst3w4rt
    DionneMcNuttmantejrossbransonCarmel_Coleman
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    The best twit followers are intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk or high.

    • 1,045
    • FAVS
    QuietMindIIDJVanEverydru0887Miss_Kris85PussycatPlacejuneohara65Gina52263819naturesbabiluv
    • 480
    • RETWEETS
    DJVanEveryMiss_Kris85juneohara65naturesbabiluvCalrtipperjenquinlan12122vierknopfnewstart43
    madamesnooty______
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    Twitter is starting to make sense. Time to up my medication.

    • 971
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsidedru0887charrrllaaMiss_Kris85BearCoolzjuneohara65Gina52263819bexaday
    • 373
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsidejuneohara65li4mst3w4rtInner_Momav3yCasino_Divaposogypylutepaulablu22
    TampaBayMommaChipKellysBallsmissekay
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    Women play with their hair at traffic lights because they don't have any balls to scratch.

    • 858
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsidetiReynardyaziquexHumorParasiteQuietMindIIMandajojo6charrrllaaGina52263819
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsideHumorParasiteQuietMindIIdanute629li4mst3w4rtlasergirl70PaulGreenhalgh2Cheetoe4
    rsynder336________
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    WalMart may have 5 million underpaid employees, but only two work at checkout here.

    • 680
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsideHumorParasiteQuietMindII_jennjennBekattlaturtlebuttondru0887EVILnSHIT
    • 352
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsideHumorParasiteDJVanEverydru0887anglo_bonesPoteneonroseBerryMadd
    AnyaLachae7Nichole_Lindsey
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    I bet I could get away with peeing on the floor at PetsMart.

    • 681
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsideQuietMindIIRevReeeGina52263819li4mst3w4rtCheetoe4chicnlil1ITalkToHorsies
    • 301
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsideBlondAmbitionTOli4mst3w4rtMSN2BEOhgoddessitsmeToxicProbablyBigTxDickpaulablu22
    cheeky__galadamlucidishesananteater
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    Lower your standards, a little more....,. there. Now you can relate to my tweets.

    • 671
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsideQuietMindIIGina52263819bexadayli4mst3w4rtlasergirl70Cheetoe4Casino_Diva
    • 267
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsideli4mst3w4rtCasino_Divapaulablu22Browneyed_mamasweetcakesbelleGodivaInBluepossibilyss
    mohitraj
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    DAM - Mothers Against Dyslexia

    • 686
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsideHumorParasiteQuietMindIIDJVanEverybexadayli4mst3w4rtCheetoe4OsceolaHunter
    • 236
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsideHumorParasiteDJVanEverybexadayli4mst3w4rtpaulablu22Browneyed_mamasweetcakesbelle
    seanmoriartyMVInkdhawaiianBlondAmbitionTOHeatherLuvsYou
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    I'll gladly take a pity star.

    • 663
    • FAVS
    DemoonInsideQuietMindIICasino_DivaGina52263819Slave_4_UThePrime714SassyquackerADDChickie
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    DemoonInsideCasino_Divajerath90Slave_4_USassyquackerADDChickieli4mst3w4rtdelhi_playboy
    SteveDutzy
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    If the enemy is in range, so are you.

    • 595
    • FAVS
    HumorParasiteQuietMindIICasino_Divali4mst3w4rtCheetoe4OsceolaHunterKarlTheFagpaulablu22
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    Casino_Divali4mst3w4rtOsceolaHunterpaulablu22just1foolraginbull67GingerJ17KireiOni
    BrewskerJackieluvsUK
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    "Noah" spoiler alert: they ran out of food and ate the unicorns.

    • 412
    • FAVS
    HumorParasiteQuietMindIIDJVanEveryGina52263819ADDChickieli4mst3w4rts7u3zCheetoe4
    • 242
    • RETWEETS
    HumorParasiteDJVanEveryADDChickieli4mst3w4rtpaulablu22just1foolruraljulesKireiOni
    CVTBabymissekay
  • wesjohnson8
      WJ @wesjohnson8

    My psychiatrist diagnosed me easily, "Yours is a common enough personality problem - you're obnoxious."

    • 491
    • FAVS
    rysox80HumorParasiteQuietMindIIGingerJ17Gina52263819li4mst3w4rtCheetoe4OneFunnyMummy
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    rysox80HumorParasitebloodcubesGingerJ17li4mst3w4rtOneFunnyMummynoctus69posogypylute
    nayomeewallace
@wesjohnson8

@wesjohnson8
Pro

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.