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  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.

    • 2,272
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomNatasshaStashBounceDatAssLOLjust1foolcoalslagAmeyaSurwaseCasino_DivaRayTuppet
    • 1,617
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomjust1foolcoalslagCasino_DivaSunny10amberUninsprdRTrEmilieusmrjohntofu
    thentherewasmoTheKenyan_fred_dogrobertseuan______10InchesPlusdeLusticiouslloydrangPlaying_DadAllanCresswellChipKellysBallsllvvzzzMrsJekyllsHydejjax44TwinTwistedKyrieFayeSunnyGirl1717MasterOfFuryMrToletoneliserose5
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.

    • 2,220
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomtkcoltsfanpugDNApossibilyssjust1foolcoalslagWxnurdDanny_McH2O
    • 1,290
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoommarkburton33possibilyssjust1foolcoalslagSunny10amberUninsprdRTrameelouiseV
    almostapriestMikeZakarianMrsJekyllsHydeKatieBurnettPlaying_DadCVTBabyabrosenthalMascaraBandit10InchesPlus
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    God put men on earth because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    • 1,913
    • FAVS
    bellasweetstuffPowKaPowBoomPinkuNoSabotenfefespeaksjust1foolcoalslagAmeyaSurwaseCasino_Diva
    • 964
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomminnie_in_pink7just1foolcoalslagAmeyaSurwaseCasino_DivaJimJacksonRStickieGreens
    Social_Mimei_theindianCarolineCaseykillthemessngerllvvzzzginger_xtcMrToletonBrokenZmileMrPeekerplanetleslie
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"

    • 1,614
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomjust1foolcoalslagshutupheavAmeyaSurwaseCasino_Divamrjohntofuislandofapples
    • 944
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomjust1foolkatiedx3coalslagshutupheavAmeyaSurwaseCasino_Divafillthevacuum
    mrt1mGroperClevelandMrsJekyllsHydebrittarnettabrosenthalNinjaFuneral______itswrigley________
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."

    • 1,572
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagAmeyaSurwaseCasino_Divastarfish19673lisakaypricemrjohntofuBethsButt
    • 701
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagCasino_DivaUninsprdRTrJayTia13mrjohntofufillthevacuumhdh04eldorado
    nigelgodwinLouisGibboholypurgatorybornmiserable
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

    • 1,376
    • FAVS
    LeeVerlingsangrallPowKaPowBoomTehNemsterEsterLongJohnSHoward1hersratjestysgtblueeyes
    • 823
    • RETWEETS
    HARDHEAD713PowKaPowBoom4leerandomthotsbamatrailryderParkerlawyercoalslagCasino_Divafillthevacuum
    CraigChamberlinTheBeerGuy73AIMMadellynneWindPushedGrassJosesLovesYou_InsanelyNormal__SCBamaManmoreofffmeJP_theAntiHero
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Grown ups ask kids, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" because we're looking for ideas.

    • 1,049
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslag_jenniferismsSunny10amberv3katelynnamydillonfefespeaksmrjohntofu
    • 614
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagSunny10ambermrjohntofufillthevacuumhdh04eldoradoBlancaMQz_Love_bug1016
    ScottBerghorndinokittenTweetTheDude
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Treat your dog like family or don't have a dog.

    • 948
    • FAVS
    lawyerthoughtsm101m101mPowKaPowBoomMrsWard89hayatalnaimiInBayCountryTheBalancedCheffourgoodpups
    • 693
    • RETWEETS
    hayatalnaimiPowKaPowBoomInBayCountryLisaAlescifourgoodpupsJusta_LencoalslagMicheal_Erdman
    GeoroyoparupaajBlaineBruceEliHansenMusic
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.

    • 1,094
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagMmmYeahNofillthevacuumnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanUnderchildeHumorParasite
    • 402
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagMmmYeahNofillthevacuumUnderchildeHumorParasiteroggyieLove_bug1016
    DionneMcNuttmantejrossbransonCarmel_Coleman
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    The best twit followers are intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk or high.

    • 1,002
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomRRON_coalslagCasino_Divafillthevacuumnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanhdh04eldorado
    • 452
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagCasino_Divahdh04eldoradosweetg35Love_bug1016AimeeAuthorddsmidt
    madamesnooty______
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Twitter is starting to make sense. Time to up my medication.

    • 932
    • FAVS
    Jenn_x2_PowKaPowBoomcoalslagfillthevacuumnayomeewallacehispanicmathmantylersorrellsHumorParasite
    • 357
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagfillthevacuumtylersorrellsHumorParasiteLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorSheDoneGood
    TampaBayMommaChipKellysBallsmissekay
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Women play with their hair at traffic lights because they don't have any balls to scratch.

    • 824
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagGirlnugzqld8inarowfillthevacuumnayomeewallaceFrizerkaSandrahispanicmathman
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    PowKaPowBoomcoalslagfillthevacuumhdh04eldoradoamanvaniLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorHunnerGoMeow
    rsynder336________
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    WalMart may have 5 million underpaid employees, but only two work at checkout here.

    • 638
    • FAVS
    PowKaPowBoomEllieWillcoxBeSassyChivettejustwanttobeme3LukeYountniabai20_jenniferjjamesNorthside_Mike
    • 323
    • RETWEETS
    CodeLionPowKaPowBoomLuddaddy77florida_gal7CrimsonHotMessEsterLonghersratjesty_jenniferjjames
    AnyaLachae7Nichole_Lindsey
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    I bet I could get away with peeing on the floor at PetsMart.

    • 655
    • FAVS
    AlongCameAnjacoalslagislandofapplesnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanHumorParasiteLove_bug1016AimeeAuthor
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagHumorParasiteLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorgirl_a_whirlSheDoneGoodjavierdpmMrsJekyllsHyde
    cheeky__galadamlucidishesananteater
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    Lower your standards, a little more....,. there. Now you can relate to my tweets.

    • 651
    • FAVS
    Lin_BakerjtdouglAlongCameAnjacoalslagnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanhdh04eldoradoHumorParasite
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    hersratjestyLin_BakerParkerlawyerAlongCameAnjacoalslagDaAwfulhdh04eldoradoLove_bug1016
    mohitraj
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    DAM - Mothers Against Dyslexia

    • 670
    • FAVS
    coalslagislandofapplesnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanBoobzAndBrainzLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorgirl_a_whirl
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorgirl_a_whirlkorn_crueXOperfectmessXODearAbbySimonParkerlawyer
    seanmoriartyMVInkdhawaiianBlondAmbitionTOHeatherLuvsYou
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    I'll gladly take a pity star.

    • 634
    • FAVS
    barrebeccaCubanB1987AlongCameAnjacoalslagnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanLove_bug1016AimeeAuthor
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    AlongCameAnjacoalslagLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorJarodNotJaredKMk4Kickscandyhh15lollipopleggies
    SteveDutzy
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    If the enemy is in range, so are you.

    • 575
    • FAVS
    coalslagnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanhdh04eldoradoLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorAlexNouryUmerAwan48
    • 173
    • RETWEETS
    coalslaghdh04eldoradoLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorCFCINHOMahak_BajwaPalindr0maniacGoldenSpirals
    BrewskerJackieluvsUK
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    "Noah" spoiler alert: they ran out of food and ate the unicorns.

    • 390
    • FAVS
    TehNemsternancy21090coalslagnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanAimeeAuthorXOperfectmessXOfluffysafari
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    TheWildeFishnancy21090ShaistaJustinParkerlawyercoalslagAimeeAuthorKMk4KicksGingerJ17
    CVTBabymissekay
  • wesjohnson8
      Wes @wesjohnson8

    My psychiatrist diagnosed me easily, "Yours is a common enough personality problem - you're obnoxious."

    • 470
    • FAVS
    coalslagnayomeewallacehispanicmathmanLove_bug1016hrlksAimeeAuthorTennesseeCherryPigeonlov
    • 123
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagrankingTweetsLove_bug1016AimeeAuthorPigeonlovlllvvvzzzSassyTexasGalmalangabram
    nayomeewallace
@wesjohnson8

@wesjohnson8
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.