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I ate poison ivy one time, so vote for me for class president.
If I record this girl's laugh do you think I could play it at my trial and get the murder charge dropped?
I don't know, I just got a mental image of a 20-something with mom hair grinding on dudes and now I'm really sad.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: Pants Harder
I want to be a weather person "tomorrow your nipples will be able to cut glass. Thursday, say goodbye to your balls as they retreat."
It's pretty rad that oranges are pre-sectioned and all you have to do is peel them. Thanks for looking out, citrus.
She then proceeded to google the super secret meanings behind thumb rings. Right hand, gay. Left hand, Marxist.
"I think that means you do anal"-my mom, regarding thumb rings.
"It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free"--Pet store application
Do you ever have trouble finding the opening on a trash bag so you carpet bomb an entire city?
How do people talk on the phone for an hour and sound like they care for the entire hour? Shit should be an olympic sport.
My username on multiple websites is hailsatin. When that's not available I am hailsedan. I am relentless and terribly annoying.