I've decided that if I lick it...

I fucking own it...

I like my men like my coffee... Black and in my mouth........ WAIT! I did that wrong. Fuck. I suck at everything

Stop trying to get shit done... And just do me instead.

'I wanted to feel alive, you know'
Womans excuse on cheating on her husband

Bitch, don't say ehhh to creme cheese... Your ass seems to say you eat everything anyway.

Um... Just FYI...
I am not funny. I tweet song lyrics and quotes from movies. I will even use a fucking hashtag... Eat me

If your gut is bigger than your ass... your "legging" privileges are revoked!

I like my kisses down low... Makes me arch my back

You suck.
I suck.
Let's suck together...

Stop staring.. They are boobs people...

Bet you didn't know that some nights.. I watch you sleep

Dude. If you hock your spit in the break room kitchen again I will personally neuter you with a plastic fork...

If any of @roguegod 's so called friends don't get a hold of him and give him a hand... I'm too far away... Damn cunts

Has to be my favorite angry birds shirt...  http://twitpic.com/ch9vbm 

I am the first to admit I will follow purely on an Avi... but damn. Some of y'all make me regret that shit.

The things I do to you in my mind... Shhhhh.

Fuck you phone
Your
You're
You Fucking are....

I need some new bruises... damn it

Ok. Hair in pony tail... naked. Waiting.

When it hurts bad enough that you can't sleep... That