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  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    If Adele doesn't get laid soon, I'm gonna find her and fuck her myself so I don't have to listen to this shit anymore.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    shanetheveinCseashellssiouxdonnemsatanominal_xLNcDelaBootsMikeJeffJordanjacobc
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    manojnayaknikster007peanutbutraalhiThewastebin_______xLNcTaatieTietieReehema__________
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    I don't know why I ever left Twitter. Since I reopened my account 3 days ago I've already won 4 Ipads.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    _xLNcYUCKYBOTVocabuLarrysadeladbustertheskacatllvvzzPeaceInTruth1BDGarp
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    totalmisf1tMikeJeffJordan
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Watching Women's CrossFit makes me thankful I don't exercise.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    itsaRawDawgSharpeBytesMarix_MthemcgillicuttyPJTLynch
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    itsaRawDawgMarix_MthemcgillicuttyPJTLynch
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Don't tell your wife she was a bitch yesterday on your lunch break. We have your credit card info saved on Amazon for times like these.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    itsaRawDawgPJTLynchozzyuncthemcgillicutty
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    itsaRawDawgPJTLynchozzyuncthemcgillicutty
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    My 7 yo son is designing a toxic, TNT pig farm on Minecraft for the zombie apocalypse. This is what happens when stoners procreate.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    pookiemissitsaRawDawgPJTLynchozzyunc
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    pookiemissitsaRawDawgPJTLynchozzyunc
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    I just full out rapped "Lose Yourself" into the cordless phone forgetting I'm on camera. I lost myself in the music, the moment...

    • 8
    • FAVS
    CseashellsMikeJeffJordanBDGarpiNusku____________llvvzzdonniredpawn3navanax
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    I dress my boyfriend daily, so ladies don't listen to anyone who says you can't change a man. Also, his balls fit perfectly in my pockabook.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    MikeJeffJordanBDGarpllvvzzYUCKYBOTMadAxesnavanax
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Now when I see someone squirm in their seat I can't help but think it's due to a painful catheter.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    minority723nerdonfire1PJTLynch
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    nerdonfire1PJTLynch
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    I think whoever coined the term "off the wagon" stopped at a Trading Post on The Oregon Trail with some really good moonshine.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    kenyettaharneyswilheminaconnie__CandelariaminkKarrieqhvf__Winnifredsrqyu____
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    There's no need to question Oprah's acting abilities. She's been pretending to be white for over 25 years.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    suzytacoozzyuncizrigrodthemcgillicutty
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Ppl still listen to Kiss 108?? "@universalhub: Kiss 108 is very disappointed in you, Internet  http://www.kiss108.com/t/?2j6 "

    • 3
    • FAVS
    klemay123mL24qdubs
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    universalhub
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Nothing like waking up to your man trying to fuck you in your sleep. Though those wolverine scratches on his face do give him character.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    llvvzzHearNotDavesnavanax
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    livetimefe
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    I woke up with the Punky Brewster theme song stuck in my head so I'm gonna take the hint and avoid supermarkets and empty fridges today.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    MikeJeffJordanllvvzznavanaxYUCKYBOT
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Thank you 1980s childhood for knowing everyone who drives a van is a kidnapping child rapist. I'm looking at you, newspaper delivery guy.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ozzyuncizrigrod
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ozzyunc
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Went to order & the manager told the new girl in spanish "Only I make her coffee, she's crazy." So I replied "Gracias, te lo agradezco."

    • 2
    • FAVS
    PJTLynchloaudley
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    PJTLynch
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    A body was found in Crystal Lake in my hometown Wakefield, MA yesterday. And to think that summer camp closed down years ago!

    • 2
    • FAVS
    PJTLynchevankirstel
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    PJTLynch
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    My son had me on the phone with his cousins in VT to hear me say "harbor" and "fart" in my Boston accent. At least I'm good for something.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    PJTLynchYUCKYBOT
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    PJTLynch
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    I would like to thank Roche Pharmaceuticals for making this tweet possible.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    PJTLynchloaudley
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    PJTLynch
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Why did the Patriots need a personality test for Aaron Hernandez? Any woman could've told them he was a douche just by looking at him.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Aggiejwhcristina_locker
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Aggiejwh
  • whatabouterin
      erin. @whatabouterin

    Just realized the really HOT guy I went to high school with,went to a Catholic school & not mine, so that's a Mission.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    HacknSprayMikeSchismcalluptome
@whatabouterin

@whatabouterin

I have the worst Boston accent you will ever hear. I gotta kid. I was married for 13 days. I breathe nicotine & sarcasm. Love Life.