Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Instead of putting antifreeze into the glasses of people I dislike I'm just going to put fireball.
You won't come down from that 14 snicker bar sugar high you had for breakfast if you just keep eating candy all day.
I would fuck Barry from Storage Wars.
I don't know a lot of stuff. But I know this; I won't do the chasing.
I knew I was getting old when I started liking walnuts in my brownies.
Your plastic surgery looks like plastic surgery.
Someone tell Adam Levine how adorable I am.
Still disappointed Anderson Cooper is gay.
I'm happy. So I've got nothing.
If I go to use the toilet paper and the roll is empty one more time I'm throwing bleach in with the dark clothes.
It ain't me babe.
Some people embrace their "Irish" wayyy too much.
Ok. It's me.
*does the monster mash*
They should rename Halloween to Slutty Cougar Mom Day.
I can't concentrate when my period schedule is off.
Every time I walk into my office I get sexually harassed.
And I love it.
Keep up the good job boys.