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*does the monster mash*
They should rename Halloween to Slutty Cougar Mom Day.
I can't concentrate when my period schedule is off.
My bucket list is just a list on how to become a stepford wife.
*interrupts serious question*
You do know you are asking someone who would totally attend a Taylor Swift concert right?
Cher; the queen of contouring or cheek implants. Whichever.
Me: ok, what's wrong?
You should probably wax your knuckles.
"yes it is" should be your only response to me telling you it's all about me.
Who wants to play a game of Miss me, miss me, now ya gotta kiss me?
My mom: your aunt Margaret's friend Ethel's sister Catherine said it was no good so I'm not going to do it.
Him: I'd like the chance to finish telling you something before you interup
Me: does my outfit look ok?
Thank you for all of your lunar eclipse photos or as I like to call it, the full moon.
Apparently people don't like you hugging them when they're really angry.
Him: Jesus Christ, sometimes when I talk to you it's like talking to a third grader.
Me: I know you are but what am I?