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Call the waaaaambulance Brady. Pussy.
4 year old boys never stop moving.
Ok NOW you can start decorating for Christmas. Shmucks.
Ok so maybe I shouldn't have drank last night.
My pie needs some cream.
I Jennifer G do solemnly swear not to take a photo of my turkey and post it on IG.
You all should follow suit. Thank you, amen.
And once in a while you're going to find out love's not enough to hold some stuff together.
I'd be a zombie but i'd feed off of shoes instead of brains.
Well, since the whole Paris thing, no one is friends with anyone on FB anymore.
When your mom reads someone's FB status and asks, "Who's Felicia?". 😂
Who me? I'm just over here decorating for one holiday at a time.
I'm at my whitest when I ask friends if I have kale stuck in my teeth.
Gay men sure do like men who don't like gay men.
No. I won't be calling you daddy while fucking you. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Think about that. Weirdos.
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