Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Too bad there isn't makeup that will make your muffin top look good.
Please don't land on history. Please don't land on history. Please don't land on history. FUCK! --me playing trivia crack
All of my man crush Monday's are married so I just post selfies on Mondays.
Does anyone else's mom not know how to work a phone or just mine?
You're a ball of fun lately. *eye fucking roll*
I wonder whose penis is bigger? John Meyers or Khloe kardashians?
Don't be fooled by my pretty face. I'm still from NJ.
"God didn't create marriage" never say this on FB or to your Irish catholic mom. You're welcome.
My kids are fucking maniacs.
Welcome to Target, That will be $200.
Is there a limit on restraining orders?
Aannnnd I hate people.
That Karma's a bitch. Ammmiright Dallas?
Thanks for the DM. NO.
Me at 60 second dating: no questions, just tell me I'm pretty.
Him: was work busy for you today?
Me: guess how many Taylor Swift songs I downloaded today.
I could have made that tweet funnier for you.
Wait, is that a flip phone? *literally dies laughing*