Keshubhai Patel promises unemployment allowance. As an unemployed youth, that is enticing, but I'd like a job so I'd vote for @narendramodi.

My 3 year old niece accompanied her mother to polling booth and asked CISF jawaan, "where is @narendramodi?" Even kids know #vote4modi

Half the people in the world wake up because the bai turns off the fan to sweep and doesn't turn it back on. #fact

Sorry, I don't know #BenefitsOfPowerCuts because I live in Ahmedabad, and we don't face powercuts.

@shashitharoor Hi, here's something I've written on online registry for sexual offenders,  http://bit.ly/TrCM29  please do read and share.

Darsheel Safary will grow up to look like Kalki Koechlin.

Why is everyone outraging over Asaram Bapu's comments? I thought we stopped taking all Bapus seriously since 1947.

The difference between Modi and Guj Congress is that Modi is asking votes for him while congress is asking for votes against Modi.

Farhan Akhtar should take up another social cause. Stopping his father, Javed Akhtar, from commenting on 2002 Gujarat riots.

I thought someone called me at 7. I said hello a few times only to realise it was my alarm I was talking to.

Hey, @priyankachopra, when is DVD of Teri Meri Kahaani coming out? I want to buy it and burn it in protest of 3 wasted hours.

hi @sardesairajdeep. happy birthday. eat cake. cycle to work. and ask your wife to unblock me. ♥_♥

@jhunjhunwala As a proud Gujarati, I am upset that Son of Sardar is not based on life of Dahyabhai Patel, Son of Sardar Patel.

On Facebook: One guy confirms attending an event, likes his attendance, comments on it that he is going, and then likes that comment. :|

Hi, please read, like and share my new blog in #Hindi ! :D Bleh.: मन से रावण जो निकाले राम उसके मन में है।  http://nirwa.blogspot.com/2012/10/blog-post_23.html?spref=tw …

Looks like @omgfacts just hacked into @srbachchan's account.

McDonald's talking about "healthy breakfast" is like @sagarikaghose making sense.

Rs. 43,180 is trending on Twitter. Thank god it is neither price of 1 ltr petrol nor 1 dollar.

Yakub Memon is a Chartered Accountant. Wonder if the CA institute considers terrorism professional misconduct.

You know a kid trusts you if he/she lets you hold their chocolate.