Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
haha it's FINALS! look at my REDBULL & COFFEE look at MY FANCY COLLEGE BOOKS it's so COMPLEX and I AM SO SMART & STUDIOUS. HIGHLIGHTER.
try not to feel dumb when ur world crumbles in around u. the gods were trying to help u all along but u never read your fucking horoscope.
we built weird twitter on puns and trolls
How to Discipline a Cat: 1. pick him up 2. support the hiney!! 3. kiss the nose 4. place back down
RT if your dildo has its own pillow on ur bed
I accidentally grabbed my cat's treats instead of my trail mix today & just pulled out a bag of cat treats in class.
My best #whitegirlproblem was my mom telling me that my life was 'spiraling out of control' because I hadn't wrapped my Christmas presents
animals have no concept of furniture. to them its an extension of the ground. they freak when its moved bc its like youre shifting the world
Forgot to take my allergy medicine. People keep blessing me. Five more and I'm a bishop. Watch out world.
If you ever end up sleeping with one of your followers you'll have to be awfully careful not to yell out their username.
i want a girl with a short skirt and a straaiiiiiight jacket
If you focus your attention on head of Shia Labeouf's penis in the Sigur Ros video you will see my face peering out the hole, winking.
if i was an astronaut i would tweet 'goodbye cruel world' every time i blasted off
a necrophilic fantasy but where you wish you were the dead one
what's that yoga position called where you lay in bed and drink beer all day
"all it can do is deliver DNA" --an alien observing a human penis
Damn Nike makes some fresh ass baby shoes. I'm gonna get some for my cat.
I fucked the flag
a total betty. arkansas traveller. single cat mom. i love trust funds & counting calories.