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Is it possible to fist someone "a little bit"?
Consoling myself after the Gators' loss by watching Spurrier stick his big Cocks in Alabama's "Crimson Tide."
My father just said: "I can't believe how good Justin Bieber is."
That's it. I'm adopted.
"Mom, Lucky's humping me again!"
- The Boy
Instead of watching the BCS championship game, I'm watching lecture videos about fecal samples. Literally having a shitty Monday.
What could be more fun than a room full of Boy Scouts having an indoor snowball fight?
No, really, what?!?
Our normal bedtime song of "Jesus Loves Me" has been replaced with "There's a Zombie on My Lawn."
The puppy just brought me a turkey carcass he found outside. Soup anyone?
Studying for midterms.
Anyways, totally drunk!
It is so windy in Columbus today. I'm pretty sure I just saw a flying monkey over campus today.
Had the choice to teach kindergarten or 6th grade today. Not sure I chose correctly. Pretty sure I'd need a drink either way.
They've just announced an open dance floor and free cake. I've never been so conflicted.
Sign of the apocalypse:
My nephew's Catholic school's marching band is doing Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance."