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For some, waking tomorrow will be the closes they get from rising from the dead*.
Every time I hear "A-Rod" I think...what a cool name for a porn star.
I dare ALL of you football fans. The next time you have sex with your significant other yell “Omaha”.
Son: Dad how good were you?
Me: Son I can honestly say...the older I get...the better I was.
Sooooo Tom Brady just gets caught on national TV mouthing the F word. Yet the NFL had fined Rex Ryan. Now your move Roger G., your move.
I haven't had bacon in a week. Now everything is starting to look like pork.
Whoa, whoa, whoa stop the clock! There's no coffee in this joint!
It's a fact.
Damn it! My wife's to-do list has caught up with me. Screwed again!
My WTF moment of the week: My 80+ year old father got married. Gotta give pops props. He’s gonna live his life until the end!
Living life in the DMV.
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