@wilto's (Mat 'Wilto' Marquis) most faved Tweets...
What do I do for a living? Mostly just sit around saying "that's what she said" in sign language, during conference calls.
Oh god oh god I forgot my headphones and I'm in public and what if someone attempts to interact with me OH GOD
Sure, just cruise on by, bus #77. I was probably waiting under the "bus stop" sign for something else—like Spring, or the Rapture.
My generation is gonna have the worst "back in my day" stories.
"When we were hungry? We had to log back into Foodler EVERY THIRTY DAYS."
"When we were hungry? We had to log back into Foodler EVERY THIRTY DAYS."
Huh. Guess it's probably about time I figure out what I'm doing with my evening. And year. Decade? ENTIRE ADULT LIFE OH GOD
16
"Is that an ampersand on your phone?"
"It's my wallpaper."
"Jesus. We need to find you a girlfriend."
"Maybe. Let's see some portfolios."
"It's my wallpaper."
"Jesus. We need to find you a girlfriend."
"Maybe. Let's see some portfolios."
16
"Do you ever go out with your friends and not drink?"
"I don't-… I mean, I know all those words, but together they don't make any sense."
"I don't-… I mean, I know all those words, but together they don't make any sense."
15
Overheard:
"So, where do you see yourself in five years?"
"In the future."
Well played, interviewee. Well played.
"So, where do you see yourself in five years?"
"In the future."
Well played, interviewee. Well played.
14
My hands are all garlic-y from cooking. Tried using my roommate's fancy olive oil soap, but all I've done is make myself more delicious.
12
> You are in a small office, in an apartment in Somerville, MA. Beside you is a closed MacBook. There is an exit to the south.
>_
>_
12
What television is really lacking is a medical drama centered around a nurse with emotional baggage that cares deeply about her patients.
12
It's a little unsettling seeing Billy Mays commercials now, but I'm still looking forward to his upcoming album with Tupac.
11
On a scale of one to arrested, how bad an idea do you guys think it is to sneak into college classes purely for learnin' purposes?
9
If "like a million bucks" is the standard for "feeling good," I'm currently feelin' like roughly eight dollars worth of food stamps.
8
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Magenta doesn't actually exist within the visible light spectrum.
Science is cooler than you.
Violets are blue.
Magenta doesn't actually exist within the visible light spectrum.
Science is cooler than you.
8
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