Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 97
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Favs Given: 2,119
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@wink's most faved Tweets...
wink
Trying the whole "positive reinforcement" method for getting the kids to clean up because the beatings were losing their effectiveness.
@wink
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practicalwitchmassive_rallyroughdictionMeetingBoyjorshuwahsucittaMmyappletinibedheadblondeBettyLiesOHguy7pinkeezyderbyjames
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Family is taking turns singing annoying songs to get them stuck in my head. (Shhh...don't tell them that they're canceling each other out.)
@wink
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sadlycuriousMeetingBoyJeeNeeBeejorshuwahbedheadblondeblueyesbrunetFunnyLvnGirl
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The Day the Earth Kept Rotating #boringdisastermovie
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7
giromideMeetingBoyYs0seri0usjorshuwahbedheadblondeFunnyLvnGirlhas2b_christyv
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Oh the irony! Mom just got an email chastising her for mass-forwarding emails. So, of course, Mom proceeds to forwarded it to everyone.
@wink
6
blueyesbrunetmyappletinibedheadblondei_thinkitsfunnyhas2b_christyvderbyjames
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6yo: I have some good news and some bad news.6yo: Actually, I only have bad news.
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gneiccolafixbehindyourbackhas2b_christyvderbyjames
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My spirit animal is a Vicodin.
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5
ThunderDoltFunnyLvnGirlBettyLiesOHguy7behindyourback
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At in-law's house making dinner using cornstarch from 1996. If I never tweet again, this is why.
@wink
5
gneiccobedheadblondeblueyesbrunethas2b_christyvderbyjames
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2009 in one word: Suffering.
@wink
4
giromidebedheadblondeFunnyLvnGirlhas2b_christyv
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Guests have arrived. This house doesn't have enough outlets to charge everyone's iPhones and MacBooks.
@wink
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myappletiniampersandwichblueyesbrunethas2b_christyv
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Looking forward to "Abattoir", James Cameron's upcoming $300 million epic adaptation of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle".
@wink
4
giromidebedheadblondeblueyesbrunetderbyjames
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Ghost juice: 6yo's term for the fog from dry ice dropped in water
@wink
4
gneiccobedheadblondeblueyesbruneti_thinkitsfunny
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"If it weren't for Columbus you wouldn't exist, so be grateful." Huh? Not *all* historical dependencies are worth celebrating.
@wink
4
giromidebedheadblondeblueyesbrunetderbyjames
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Questionable judgment: letting your 6YO push your wheelchair while you're going downhill. See also: terror, out of control.
@wink
4
moonstruckmaniaMeetingBoyhotheadredbedheadblonde
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Watching our neighbor prune our plum tree. #notaeuphanism
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4
giromideMeetingBoyPaulineTVbedheadblonde
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Wife managed to change the channel to the Customer Information Channel. This is OK by nobody.
@wink
3
gneiccobedheadblondeblueyesbrunet
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Grrrrr...I hate it when I get a dud Vicodin.
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3
giromidebedheadblondeblueyesbrunet
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Assfixiate: to sterilize a jerk, possibly by obstucting his airway.
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3
moonstruckmaniabedheadblondeblueyesbrunet
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My people haz #bacon--IMMA LET YOU FINISH something something hobo vagina.
Amiright?

Laydeez.

#mixedmetamemes


Laydeez.

#mixedmetamemes
@wink
3
Danredwingbedheadblondeblueyesbrunet
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Just polished off a redbull and a whole pot of tea. That'll help my insomnia, right?
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3
sadlycuriousbedheadblondeblueyesbrunet
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6yo: How did you know I was just pretending to sleep?6yo: Was it because I kept opening my eyes?
me: Well, that certainly was a big clue.
@wink
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sadlycuriousviciousbleubedheadblonde
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