If you want me to RT anything just include the words masturbation, vagina or peeing. Glad to help where very little help is needed.

I am going out to play in traffic to see what my Father was talking about for years all he said was go play in traffic you little shit.

I saw this guy today trying to look up this women's skirts he had no skills and that disgusted me he wasn't even using a mirror on a stick.

I am sitting in a local OBGYN's office pretending my sister is here. The women in the waiting room are looking good today. #jackpot

In my day we didn't the have the internet we had to stalk women the old fashion way guys have it so easy now they don't have to leave home!

My new neighbor who loves to pee outside caught me watching and waved while she hiked up her skirt, so I wave back & kept watching.

When my GF and I make love I always make sure she cums first that way I feel more like a man and less like the sex crazed dog that I am.

How do you know when you are in love? When you just finish fucking and she throws you a towel and you don't want to punch her in the throat.

I found a great place to stalk women this Doc's parking lot & waiting room he is a gynecologist. I tell the nurse I am waiting for my wife

I asked this hot girl at work and said "I am thinking of a number between 1 and 70" and she told me to fuck off and then said 69 right yep

Played golf all weekend now I am way behind on laundry, cleaning, stalking and window peeping on my neighbors I have to get it together.

My neighbor was passed out in her car so I took off her shirt & left a note saying thanks for a good time. Now when I see her I just wink.

Dear Future, please send me a women that loves me and will do all the freaky sex I really like. OH I also need winning lotto numbers too.

The new girl in the office thinks she can use her tits to get what she wants from the boss. The jokes on her he would rather suck my dick.

I want to go back to my youth so I asked my girlfriend to grow out her bush so I could feel like I am back in high school in the 1970's.

As self appointed neighborhood watch captain I am authorized to look in your windows to check to make sure you are dressing correctly!

I am going out for a run the problem is I belong to a gym so contractual I am not aloud to do any exercise that is not in my gym. Too bad!

I am a look on the sunny side kinda guy so I only stalk women that seem happy and smile while they are undressing or peeing. No frowny faces

The new girl in the office showed up with no bra & hanging out of her top. She asked me if she could have the afternoon off. I said no!

My neighbor who pee's outside every nite loves the fact that I watch her. She sent me a text to tell me she was heading out to pee. #moving