Keyboards should have a Hard Enter key, for when you really mean it.

Helpdesk asked everyone to log off at night to run an update, she replied all: "In case I forget, my pwd is maddog." #didireallyjustreplyall

Tried a hair of the dog for my hangover but I think I did it wrong. Apparently no dog hair is actually involved.

Don't make wishes. Set goals instead.

I said to her: "This world ain't big enough for both of us."

Now I'm drifting alone in space.

Happy Aussie fake thanksgiving everyone.

Apple didn't care about the iPhone alarm bug when it affected Australia and Europe. Perhaps they'll do something when it hits the US.

Watching the incredibly depressing F1 Korean Grand Prix. Track is wet and they've completed 14 laps behind safety car so far.

When somebody says "you are like the Sun to me" I hear "you are like a rather cold, occasionally temperamental yellowish dwarf to me."

Brilliant! RT @ojalarcon: #Sydney : is it the smuggest city in the world? - http://theage.com.au/travel-16vni.html

This is so wrong, privacy-wise. RT @newsycombinator: Facelette: Chat Roulette for FaceTime http://j.mp/dye1XL

Every time I hear someone bragging about past successes, I can't help but think of "I was Dr Drake Ramoray in Days of Our Lives!!!"

I'm trying to be positive for a change, so starting today I love Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.