Popular Recent Faved By Given
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@wood's (Wood) recently faved Tweets...
wood
Think like a scientist.
Speak like a gentleman.
Work like a slave.
Party like Keith fucking Richards.
@wood
11
cravenheartsha_sugaBettyLiesnotmickhireblondediva11ahugeproductionDexter_Coltindiejeeprongillmoretalks_in_mathseugem
wood
And now, once again, the waiting. Always the waiting.
@wood
7
warmyellowlightpenblethrejecterrongillmorekambrockcodeSparrowtiffindrama
wood
Probably the best part of being salaried is not having to justify all this overtime.

Please. Kill me.
@wood
2
JoanmarieJezebelTheGreat
wood
Oh, opening shots in Twitter wars go on Tumblr. My bad.
@wood
4
bestgirlbettytammyphinneyA_Banana_TweetsJezebelTheGreat
wood
I'm bored.

That <insert person and/or website here> sucks sweaty balls and they aren't even funny. I mean, really.

TWITTER WAR: GO!
@wood
7
rinaedinashamedtosaybestgirlbettyvinnieelverboA_Banana_TweetsJezebelTheGreat
wood
@debihope If Chuck Norris disapproved you'd already be dead.
@wood in reply to debihope
2
gneiccoA_Banana_Tweets
wood
This warehouse is about a case of beer and three naked women short of being a good time.
@wood
6
goobimamanotmickhirerongillmorecravenheartdrewmongeBAAATTS
wood
@debihope ah, don't listen to that @obxlaw guy. I'm much more calorie and protein rich. The perfect lifeboat companion.
@wood in reply to obxlaw
3
Gabryylobxlawrongillmore
wood
It is a very fine afternoon. Much too fine to be sitting in a warehouse waiting for a 55 gallon drum of water to boil.
@wood
6
BAAATTSblobertlinajknotmickhirevanesA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E
wood
I love spring. There's nothing like opening the windows and listening to my neighbor ride his quad around the cul-de-sac FOR 2 HOURS. Ah…
@wood
6
BettyLiespenblethJoanmariePunkrockieAndSheIsA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E
wood
Being neither catholic nor Irish, it's my right, nay, my duty to get absolutely piss drunk to celebrate the driving out of the snakes.
@wood
9
cravenheartblobertSilkPillowredtothetoneJeanM617BAAATTSStillDrewlafixA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E
wood
Just learned about the grease black market. No bullshit: organized grease thieves. Mind. Blown.
@wood
3
joesmithreallypenblethA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E
wood
Time to pretend I'm smart.
@wood
4
A_N_G_E_L_I_N_EAndyCrapTymethiefpenbleth
wood
So... Toot about Grover and the horsey and @ChessTweets follows me. Let's see...

Boy, space is really BIG.

And helllooo Stephen Hawking.
@wood
3
Tymethiefdoo_overA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E
wood
No BS: as I was kissing The Boy goodbye just now I looked up and saw his bus driver filming us. Look for us on YouTube, I guess.
@wood
8
crustyjuggler72BettyLiesJeanM617bedheadblondedesirousgoddessgneiccoA_N_G_E_L_I_N_Echiclet_
wood
@Freakdad "Permissable boners." Try "Nice boner, but I have to work at 4:30. You're on your own." THAT'S marriage.
@wood in reply to Freakdad
5
TymethiefNotHotmrdtweetenricolimcacoSilkPillow
wood
My (adult) kid just tooted lesbian innuendo. Mounting my high horse, I recalled tooting about a kiddie pool and canola oil earlier.

Fuck.
@wood
5
TymethieflinanneblackrejecterraiselmBettyLies
wood
Quick question: I've planned a lovely Brie en croute before dinner. What koolaid pairs best with that? TIA.
@wood
12
ashamedtosaysupaStillDrewNotHotUncleDynamitegneiccojjherrickrongillmorejoesmithreallyFussySaffarejecterBettyLies
wood
OMFG new cushions for the patio chairs!

What? I can't be hot sex all the time.

New cushions will improve the patio chair sex, though.
@wood
9
WadetoBlackBettyLiespaul_e_wogUncleDynamiterejecterorneryredakaperdanttalks_in_mathsdoo_over
wood
Everytime @nothot gets quiet lately I imagine a furious race to the hospital. Just me?
@wood
6
JeanM617SilkPillowbedheadblondemathcat345nanceinmypancejasonmustian
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