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Tip 4 girls everywhere: don't scream when you drink
i want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooooooooong line of credit
according to TLC's song I qualify to be a scrub by meeting 3/4 requirements fuck
OMG I woke up with a Drake tattoo
someone come cheer me up today; I will feed you good food
Gonna start calling normal bathrooms inhouses
PSA to all birds: shut up before 10 am. What the fuck are you even chirping about???
MY MOM JUST TEXTED ME: THE SALVATION ARMY ON GREEN ST. HAS 50% OFF ALL CLOTHES TODAY
What is the "premarital sex" people keep going on about???
Where all tha hot Christian singles at??!?
Having a Garfield kinda day except switch lasagna with fried pepperoni
wow people who are against feminism are dumb as hell
The world is in a weird mood today
need to start working out my backhand for when I start seeing people with google glass
Eyeing the bread grilling station
free tip 4 all the guys out there: women think your necklace looks dumb (don't wear one)
I'm that guy who still replies to 'what's up?' with 'chicken butt'