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Love segwaying from bits about my nephew to jerking off while eating deli sandwiches.
"Hey, can you not follow me on Twitter?"
"'Cause I talk MAD shit on you on Twitter"
Today we salute all the women who fell the for "Just the Tip" line.
Four grown men desperately trying to figure out if anyone's sober enough to drive to Taco Bell for breakfast. Spoiler alert: no one was :-(
My friendships are slowly dying.
Anal isn't cheating, right?
I'm all for personal growth and feeling better, Gimme a burger and a beer any day over all of that.
Booze: Brandon, you need a new SLAM PIECE.
Me: No, no I really don't. Now shut up; I'm trying to watch The Walking Dead.
A great drink is like a great friend; Really sweet, make you smile, and in the end, helps get you drunk.
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