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Love segwaying from bits about my nephew to jerking off while eating deli sandwiches.
Four grown men desperately trying to figure out if anyone's sober enough to drive to Taco Bell for breakfast. Spoiler alert: no one was :-(
My friendships are slowly dying.
Booze: Brandon, you need a new SLAM PIECE.
Me: No, no I really don't. Now shut up; I'm trying to watch The Walking Dead.
Wanna remember how dumb you used to be? Look at your FB posts from 7 years ago like.
Apparently me saying 'I'm not gonna fuck her' is akin to Garfield saying 'I'm not gonna eat lasagna'.
There are two types of people: people that I'm cool with, and people that don't like Bruce Springsteen.
Nothing like listening to how Sandy sucked dick for coke back in the day...
It still feels weir being able to actually *read* the text on Alan Wake. Glad to be part of the 21st century.
A great drink is like a great friend; Really sweet, make you smile, and in the end, helps get you drunk.