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Learned: Families that collected & sold their urine to tan hides were "piss poor." Poorer families "didn't have a pot to piss in."
HOW TO FIX A COMPUTER
1. try rebooting
2. you did?
4. and it still doesn’t work?
7. get a new computer
ClichéUpdate: Based on the increase in birth rate since the original quote, there are now 3 suckers born every 2 minutes.
Learned: the rye bread Pumpernickel's name is derived from an old Germanic term meaning "devil's fart."
HOW TO MONDAY
1. wake up
3. try again tomorrow
HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN
1. find some children
2. raise them above your head
3. haha ok put them down and run
HOW TO MAKE THE BED
1. pull sheets off bed
2. put sheets over my couch fort
3. stuff fort with cookies & cheap beer
4. never leave fort
It's more fun to scare someone on a day they don't expBOO! (& as a bonus, the lazy can just RT to frighten pals.)
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