Fuck him. He was so mean to Manny. RT @kellyoxford I love seeing Wheelchair Jimmy rapping on #SNL

@realdonaldtrump Emmys are for quality. If the process was fair you wouldn't even be allowed to watch the Emmys. Cc @dannyzuker

@morgan_murphy Buy them both a turkey club and get this threesome started!

Slingblade. RT @daveanthony Paul Ryan makes tiny, weird noises after he says something. That's what Jeffry Dahlmer did. I'm assuming.

@capricecrane I don't do the cleanse because I don't even own a colon.

@chrisrregan My Kickstarter to build a time machine and stop Zach Braff's parents from meeting has raised 4 billion dollars.

And more gov't. RT @slate Wayne LaPierre's message just now was essentially that the solution to America's violence problem is more guns:

@billcorbett True story: once changed a woman's tire and she offered me a meat platter from her catering business as reward.

. @thehighsign The music on my phone begins with Unknown Artist and ends with Various Artists.

I would prefer not to. RT @dannyzuker If you're making a list of the world's top scriveners....

Yep. SOPA just sucks as law regardless . RT @jonlovett @sullydish You can be anti-piracy without being pro-SOPA.

Don't you hate it when auto-correct changes "talented" to "subpoena'd"? RT @piersmorgan @keitholbermann Never been subpoena'd in my life.

@elibraden Possibly the most tasteless joke in the history of the internet. Kudos!

@stevemartintogo As a painter I'm offended that the song King Tut never mentions Cy Twombly.

@thenuzzy Heeb McQueen. I'm not doing this right. Am I?

I don't steal jokes, but if I did, I would steal all of @meganamram's jokes.

@marykoco >O~

@alisonagosti Shhhhh. I've got the bees.

@billcorbett This made me shame-laugh.

@joshmalina Challa!!!