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You can't hate gay people out of existence. You tried that with minorities. Sorry.
i'm glad twitter is being archived. i want future generations to know how much we cherished bacon, wine and cats.
2012 as "the end" is crap. End of the world talk hasn't even hit twitter yet. I'm supposed to believe the Mayans over Trending Topics?
so apparently my pleas for someone to fertilize my crops on facebook were grossly misinterpreted.
don't get why "VH1 Reality Show" Barbie wasn't successful. She even came w/color change ratty extensions & lacked meaningful life goals.
cue people who "aren't" interested in Jodi Arias discussing how they aren't interested in Jodi Arias.
i dislike Facebook's new peer pressure feature. 'You haven't talked to Susie in awhile. Write on her wall.' Damn, get out of my business.
tomorrow, i i will plant my butt in a seat. and write. i'll be at a coffee shop, but to make it less cliche', i'll do shots. of vodka.
Where is the acoustic version of Gangnam Style that no one (but me) is asking for?
Adam Lambert totally gets to touch girls more than you do.
Every time I hear that heterosexual couples are better for children. I start mentally listing all the people who that didn't work out for.
please don't do anything stupid during twitter maintenance. like talk to your friends in the real world. or worse, spend time w/ your spouse
You don't need a class. Here's how you win at twitter. Tweet about bacon, cats, sex, wine or politics. Be kinda funny about it. The end.
I'm what happens when you blend hot mess, legal education, overly attentive parents, sarcasm and irreverence, and grow it into a twenty-something. enjoy.