5 weeks until Xcode 5, guys!
25% more crashes than Xcode 4.
25% more main thread blocking.
25% more NSStream.
25% more indexing.
25% more ❤.

Here, let me symbolicate that crash for you.


...


0x0000a947 is 0x0000a947.


You're welcome!

What NSString giveth, NSBuddhistCalendar taketh away. pic.twitter.com/Cl7EdOqQ

MacBook Pro with Retina display: twice the pixels for the crash dialog.

Yo dawg, I herd you like view controllers, so I auto completed your new class name to FooViewControllerViewController because I hate you.

I’m Xcode and welcome to Jackass.

As hard as you try, you just can't quit me.




(You have to force quit me.)

You may've noticed I learned some new completion tricks in 4.4.

But NSStream is still my homeboy. We go way back.

dispatch_async(dispatch_get_main_queue(), ^{
sleep(rand() % 60);
if (rand() % 2) {
exit(0);
}
});

I don't always crash, but when I do…


Just kidding, I crash all the time.

“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Unstable IDE”
“Unstable IDE wh-”
**Crash**

They released two new versions of me today.

Don't worry, I still crash in both of 'em.

A taller iPhone means 128,000 more pixels for me to crash with!

We're hard at work on Siri for Mac OS X at Apple so every time you yell *FUCK* at your computer it will automatically relaunch me!

"Force quit" was invented for me

That moment when your build hangs so you quit me and I prompt you to make sure you want to quit me then I don't quit then you force quit me.

Oops!
…I did it again.
I played with your index.
Got lost in the game.
Oh, baby; baby.

Cool storyboard bro.

Xcode 5 is now available, now with ZERO BUGS!




April fools. Sorry, that joke's a little slow. Like me.

In other words, f*** you. http://t.co/Zk9pfN32