How do you hoes with multiple children have time to smoke weed and sleep half the day? Ohhh your mommy must raise your children for you.

I just pulled the plug on all these groupies. And yes, n*gga's is groupies too... #dismissed

RT USA lost many lives on 9-11-01 & now Japan has lost more lives on 3-10-11. Add the 2 dates together & you get 12-21-12. YOUR MIND = BLOWN

Fck you bitch, retweet that! RT @saucywhite: Your best tweets are your retweets!

#DearFutureHusband ...every thing I haven't done, is so I can do it with you. #FeelSpecial

...laid a strong foundation with all the bricks you used to throw at me.

Eww, fck Madonna and Lady Gaga. Gap toothed scallywags.

She said "he wears glasses, that means he's smart" --no bitch, that means he has vision problems...

Life would be easier if guys would just state what their true intentions are. Just say "yo, I wanna smash" so I can reject you already, geez

Let Me In is a fucking weird ass movie.

There are more sincere prayers within these hospital walls than in any church...

When I was little I used to climb trees, and then scream for someone to come get me down, lol. Good times, good times...

Unless you're a Transformer, your display pic should NOT be of a car...

If you go snooping through his shit, don't be all mad when you find what you were looking for...

They buried Bin Laden at sea... just like Megatron.

Nick left his phone at Foot Locker & the dude who works there just called me & told me to meet him after work to get it... sounds like rape.

Yes lol RT @damiio: So Marilyn Monroe was the SuperHead of her time???

Can't stand cars that make hella noise and are barely even moving... shut that shit up.

Best tweet ever :) RT @johnnynmbr5: I don't have to pass a test to be king,just gonna marry princess @xallsouledout

Lisa: Do my boobs look fake? Me: They ARE fake! Lisa: But do they LOOK fake? Me: Yes... Lisa: FUUUCK I need squishy-er boobs!