Being scared is part of life~letting it stop you from chasing your dreams~is unfuckingacceptable for me~I'm hunting mine down

Boobs are proof that men can pay attention to 2 things at once.

*secretly gives a fuck*

When a piece of mail is stamped with "statement enclosed," I always hope it says "You're fabulous!"

The more you care, the more you have to lose.

A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair.

Keep your heels, head, and standards high. #MyLifeAsABarbie

I love the Gymnasts and their spirit fingers..Fixes all problems!!

I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched Disney Channel today, he would cry.

I hate it when i meow at cats and they dont meow back. Unbelievably rude.

The dirty looks, the jealous stares. The best part is, you think I CARE. Roll your eyes & talk your shit. Jealous bitches make me sick.

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying & headed home.

One time I smashed my face into the keyboard and accidentally wrote the 4th Twilight book.

I don't need you to label me; I know exactly who I am.

Don’t grow up… it’s a trap.

Chihuahuas are animals that have a lot to prove.

Considering you can be anything you want on the internet,
it's amazing how many choose to be stupid.

I believe in the power of positive drinking.

Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it fried chicken.