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lmao my friend used hand sanitizer as lube and now they are in the hospital
for some reason i picture Da Brat at some seedy lesbian club in the middle of nowhere begging people to do her songs for karaoke
i am old enough to remember when Beyonce was "19" years old for about five years
call me Betty Crocker cuz my cakes stay plenty
watching To Catch a Predator and remembering the time I saw the dude I lost my virginity to on the show
the club is full of ballers and their pockets are full grown
i wonder how much i would have to tip the person doing my hair so that they wouldn't talk to me the whole time i am there
the only person i truly like being with is myself
be the Britney you want to be
remember when Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar?
rewriting "Stan" with lyrics about me and Alec Baldwin
i seriously can't wrap my mind around people who think that going to the next town over is like some giant field trip
new low point: Googling "Chris Christie shirtless"
today's look: freshly fucked
if masturbation were a crime, i would be sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole
this girl is doing makeup tutorials inspired by the colors and designs from brand name soda bottles
when the world ends, i wanna go out fapping to "Timebomb"
love child of George Costanza and Richard Nixon. history freak. chest hair enthusiast. binge eater. homeless chic pioneer.