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lmao my friend used hand sanitizer as lube and now they are in the hospital
in search of a straight man who will feed me cool whip in my underwear
i am old enough to remember when Beyonce was "19" years old for about five years
re-watching Supersize Me and he's eating a double quarter pounder with supersize fries and then he throws up. what a fucking wimp.
i want to be a lesbian housewife
Bronson Pinchot needs to stop posting pics of random flowers on his Facebook and more of his handsome face
a guy asked me out via foursquare today so there's that
for some reason i picture Da Brat at some seedy lesbian club in the middle of nowhere begging people to do her songs for karaoke
call me Betty Crocker cuz my cakes stay plenty
watching To Catch a Predator and remembering the time I saw the dude I lost my virginity to on the show
smh Connecticut would get a professional lacrosse team
can i just hide in a dark air conditioned room for the rest of my life?
let me unhinge my jaw so i can eat this burger
i wear all black all year long. idc if it's 100 degrees outside, i need to look like i just robbed a bank
lmao I told my cousin I keep wanting to call her baby Cam'ron instead of Cameron and she says she does too 😂
YEAH I'M CHECKING OUT YOUR DAD, WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT
i can't with people who post positive pregnancy tests. like nobody wants to see something you peed on.
s/o to this dude on cl who took a super close-up pic of his balls but it ended up looking like the surface of the moon with hair