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i am old enough to remember when Beyonce was "19" years old for about five years
call me Betty Crocker cuz my cakes stay plenty
watching To Catch a Predator and remembering the time I saw the dude I lost my virginity to on the show
the only person i truly like being with is myself
be the Britney you want to be
rewriting "Stan" with lyrics about me and Alec Baldwin
i seriously can't wrap my mind around people who think that going to the next town over is like some giant field trip
new low point: Googling "Chris Christie shirtless"
today's look: freshly fucked
if masturbation were a crime, i would be sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole
this girl is doing makeup tutorials inspired by the colors and designs from brand name soda bottles
when the world ends, i wanna go out fapping to "Timebomb"
GIRL, YOU'LL BE A WOMAN SOON
Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture needs to be played every time I enter a room.
stop. it's the motherfucking remix!
and jsyk, there is a porn genre called "ratchet sex tapes"
i really thought when i was little that Trent Reznor was singing "my whole existence is flan"