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lmao my friend used hand sanitizer as lube and now they are in the hospital
in search of a straight man who will feed me cool whip in my underwear
lol only on House Hunters would they make Hartford look like a nice place to live
Bill Rancic deserves a woman who enjoys eating
i wonder how many calories i burn from anxiety
awww my cat likes to spend all her time on her back just like her mommy
i am old enough to remember when Beyonce was "19" years old for about five years
you're gone and i gotta stay high all the time *camera pans over my whole body covered in zebra cake wrappers*
I have picked boogers that are bigger than your engagement ring
I think I accidentally ate one of those stickers that they put on fruit
it sucks to be an adult and forcing yourself to have a bedtime
Kanye's fashion line looks like what I wear on a daily basis so who's the trendsetter now huh
new low point: drinking ginger ale out of a plastic quart container that i saved from the Chinese place because i'm too lazy to do dishes
🚨 intervention is back on Netflix 🚨
tbh i just wanna eat a couple of Sonic chili dogs and touch some chest hair
dullness on the verge of madness
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