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Friends: 132
Followers: 193
Favs Given: 2,911
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@xzqx's (Anne) most faved Tweets...
xzqx
"Hah! Who's that weirdo talking to?" I say aloud to myself.
@xzqx
14
angelanatlxzqxluciuskwokTrick_or_tweetFriedaClubjiggerjevrythingmustgosucittaMJorgasmic1joeschmittelibradenpiercedbratelbeard
xzqx
Cleavage can only get hotter when there are visible crumbs in it. Ask anybody.
@xzqx
9
kastenjalbertbowdeniievehorizonRanGTchipmcmannevrythingmustgoelibradenrobdelaneypiercedbrat
xzqx
Jesus fuck I love that kid more than sandwiches. And I fucking love sandwiches.
@xzqx
8
atlTrick_or_tweetFriedaClubRanGTjiggerjevrythingmustgosucittaMjoeschmitt
xzqx
Just a second, honey, mommy has to tweet that.
@xzqx
7
SpinchangefelicitousTrick_or_tweetevrythingmustgoatlelibradenpiercedbrat
xzqx
Having a baby is like having a Bluetooth: it makes you feel better about talking to yourself, but everyone still thinks you're crazy.
@xzqx
6
liaboliciousatlluciuskwokRanGTevrythingmustgoelibraden
xzqx
I love you, iPhone. You're like my mother. But alive. And sober. :) :)
@xzqx
5
atlatl_stalkerjalbertbowdeniievrythingmustgoelibraden
xzqx
Forgot to attach bottles to breast pump today. Pumped milk directly onto my skirt, eliminating the middleman.
@xzqx
5
atl_stalkerxexdmomkurobdelaneypiercedbrat
xzqx
Like, seriously, I needed a jogbra for my ass.
@xzqx
5
kastenxzqxelbeardevrythingmustgorobdelaney
xzqx
OH MY GOD IF ADOBE NEEDS UPDATES ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO SET EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD ON FIRE.
@xzqx
5
iinkdioapeladpeatbogyerijiggerjSpinchange
xzqx
Please join me as I perform a dramatic reading of my facebook status.
@xzqx
4
atlTrick_or_tweetevrythingmustgopiercedbrat
xzqx
Why are fucktards fucktarded?
@xzqx
4
jorshuwahiamnotdiddyTrick_or_tweetevrythingmustgo
xzqx
Some days the only thing that keeps me going is yelling "DUMBASS! DUMBASS! DUMBASS!" at people in my mind.
@xzqx
4
elbeardFriedaClubRanGTevrythingmustgo
xzqx
I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU SLOWLY NOT KNOW STUFF.
@xzqx
3
atlChiNursepatrickdanger
xzqx
If you are on the fence about having a kid, consider this: They enjoy your interpretive dance.
@xzqx
3
sucittaMatlelibraden
xzqx
Breaking news: Dom DeLuise was actually still alive until just recently.
@xzqx
3
kastenatlxzqx
xzqx
Good advice: Don't pet the kittycat where he's not furry.
@xzqx
2
patrickdangerelbeard
xzqx
A good time for my Tourette's to kick in is not when I'm waiting for the fucking shit cock toaster and the CTO is standing right there.
@xzqx
2
atlelbeard
xzqx
Downloaded an app called "Doodle Buddy". I wish it was called "Doodie Buddy".



I need a doodie buddy. Will you be my doodie buddy?
@xzqx
2
patrickdangerSpinchange
xzqx
Then when they get close to me they sort of shyly try to pull down my shirt. Again, creepy and adorable.
@xzqx
2
Spinchangeatl
xzqx
Someone on the elevator had donuts and I got the look on my face that the nursing babies at daycare get when they smell that I'm lactating.
@xzqx
2
Spinchangeatl
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