Ah the start of summer in a college town, when the sidewalk furniture begins to bloom.

Are we sure Geocaching isn't a clever plot by mountain lions to get meals delivered to them?

Every time I go over the Golden Gate Bridge I shout "you are loved, don't do it!" out the window, just in case someone needs to hear that.

I don't know why I keep letting myself get excited, there's never going to be a circus on my street, just another home being tented for bugs

I've grown tired of the term "Hipster", and will now refer to that group of people as "Irony Enthusiasts".

My inexperience with the ladies is most evident when they tell me something is wrong and I make suggestions.

Man, Santa Cruz reeks of tragedy. Just so many people and so many bad choices.

Just joining a gym didn't burn as many calories as I thought it would. Shit, I guess that means I have to go back.

I'm sorry frozen pizza, but I'm not placing you directly on the oven rack until you come packaged with Totinos Party Oven Cleaner.

Every time the coffee cashier asks my name I develop a new persona. Today I was Alonso waiting for a cappuccino on my way back to Milan.

My hurt foot has got me walking like the witch doctor "Oo ee, oo ah ah..."

One of my favorite things is getting out of the car and going into an establishment that is tuned to the same station during a great song.

Not sure how this complimentary stethoscope is going to make me a better motorcycle rider. I think I joined the wrong AMA.

A tip to the spiders in my apartment: your survival rate greatly increases if I can't reach you.

Mr Taco in Vandenberg Village isn't very good but I go there because I like singing "Mr Taco that's the name, that name again is Mr Taco".

For the person who has everything, take them to downtown San Luis Obispo to be robbed at gunpoint and then you can get them a new wallet.

If they're so Muslim then why isn't the capitol pf Pakistan called Islamagood?

I don't trust new Twitter users. I worry about what they did that had them locked up in jail for the past five years.

I know it was a neighbor talking to her dog outside my bathroom window, but it was still nice to hear "that's a good boy" while on the potty

A downside side to near continuous caffeine intake is that you can't get a sudden energy boost from it should you need it.