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Immodium: We know you’re in a hurry so we’ve put our pills in impenetrable packaging.
Note to self: do not wear horse mask around cat.
I’m not sure pickles can fix this: a four part story
I wonder if Kathy Ireland’s voice ever dropped?
When my new dishwasher drains, it sounds like a loud wet cough. Keeps scaring the shit out of me.
The movie Whiplash teaches us that if you abuse someone enough with your maniacal bullshit they’ll be a success!
The Myth of High-Protein Diets, via @nytimes http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/23/opinion/the-myth-of-high-protein-diets.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share …
Sorry I couldn’t make it to the high school reunion, I was too busy clicking through all of your Candy Crush invitations.
You can spend 5 seasons watching Breaking Bad to figure out what meth is like or 3 hours watching Interstellar to know what a K-hole is like
I forgot how Interstellar turns into a total pile of shit exactly halfway through the very long movie.
There's no laughter in manslaughter.
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