The soda ban in NYC has been lifted, so long as residents promise to finish their vegetables and be in before curfew.

As a Native American, I get kind of nervous when people start talking about taking America back to the principles that it was founded on.

Any one who uses "smh" should get a Metta World Peace elbow to the head.

@timothypmurphy As a Native American, I get particularly nervous when people talk about the values that built this country.

@mermaid_feet What they were actually saying: "Girl, you smell predominantly like hydrogen and helium."

@killacam307 More appropriate terminology is marriage equality. Nobody's asking for a special set of rights, just equal ones.

@mermaid_feet I like kittens and coffee and feminism too. I think we'll get along just fine.

We are going to colonize the shit out of Mars. Now I know how white folks felt a few centuries ago.

(Misinformation + prejudice) * outrage = Tea Party

Stupid peoples' philosophy has went from "Carpe diem" to "Everything happens for a reason" to "YOLO".

@courtneyno I think when this series is over we need to exchange a Gasol-Ibaka style hug.

@courtneyno Courtney, no.

How long is one allowed to drive with their blinker on before I must fulfill my societal obligation and ram his car off of the road?

@johnfugelsang That would be the second worst. The worst is 'harder.'

I don't differentiate the Koreas geographically. I refer to them as Good Korea and Bad Korea.

@tytoncurrent @cenkuygur I tried marijuana, and then turned into a Cheetos and Mountain Dew addict.

@ohcourtneyno It's probably me. I've watched so much internet porn I get an erection when I'm around computers. I call it Pavlov's boner.

I bought soy milk on accident. I thought it was a Spanish milk carton telling me that it was milk.

@killacam307 Hey, no worries. Just a tip from someone who's been keeping up with such issues for a while. ;)

#TheBibleInFiveWords BBQ ribs: also an abomination.