Chris Brown says his neck tattoo is "art." It's part of his overall art exhibit called "How To Look Like A Douche."

@curlycomedy A great philosopher once recommended eating his shorts.

@curlycomedy I always wondered why she just stood there singing about her instead of trying to help.

@1nataliemaines Is it too late to change "Goodbye Earl" to be about Chris Brown?

"Final question: would you kill Big Bird or hug him?"

I wonder how Mitt feels about SpongeBob.

I can't beat all of the Avril/Nickelback jokes out there. Maybe Scott Stapp will sing at the wedding.

Idea for the human race: let's quit shooting each other. Crazy idea, right?

I bet Zack Morris had a binder of women.

Wait, why is Gabe from "The Office" debating Joe Biden tonight?

Today's specials include lunch with my mom and grandma, a visit with @usakousagi's mom and grandma, and a lot of seafood.

@1nataliemaines I have been a fan of you because of who you are for many years. Anybody who doesn't like "you" needs to move on.

Today Dora's parents sent her out with five blueberries. Now she is rowing in a boat away from a bear unsupervised. Call child services.

@curlycomedy I knew I heard treble when I walked in. Hi, I'm Taylor Swift for Speaker City.

Pitbull's favorite Disney character is Dale.

@randallsanimals Did you secretly write this book? pic.twitter.com/JG9twBKANh

@sweetleat Thanks for the mention, my favorite classmate!

If you are one of the eight people left not into #GameofThrones, you are really missing out.

Best signs in Brunswick.  http://instagram.com/p/X0Tyv_L0En/ 

@elibraden You mean the one where he does that one look?