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Yay to @ma_franks for shutting down immature, sexist @vice cofounder who believes most women should just raise kids. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/21/gavin-mcinnes-women-workplace_n_4138741.html?utm_hp_ref=tw …
#JonathanFranzenhates the moon. Its light is unspeakably dishonest and no more than a reflection.
How come we never hear the stories of people who clawed their way to success out of bitterness and spite?
That awkward moment when a guy you're texting asks to see a topless pic of you and you send him a url.
Never lose weight for a guy because what if he doesn't like you anyway? You'll just think fuuuck, I could've been eating so much dessert.
If you use "vanilla" as as synonym for "boring" then you probably haven't enjoyed that magnificent flavor to the fullest extent.
Just once I'd like to see someone take the stage to accept an Oscar and say, "Fuck you. No seriously, fuck almost every one of you."
She has a body like a Coke bottle in the sense that her arms are missing and her legs are completely fused together.
Saw an apartment ad that listed sidewalks and mailboxes as "amenities."
When it's nice out like today I enjoy taking long walks and stopping to smell all the different kinds of marijuana my neighbors are smoking.
The transition from adolescence to adulthood is essentially a move from caring about how you look to caring about how you feel.
My roommate who does cocaine scolded me for putting "microwave-safe" plastic in the microwave because she thinks it's still bad.