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#JonathanFranzenhates the moon. Its light is unspeakably dishonest and no more than a reflection.
My friend texted me a photo of her baby and I responded with a photo of the weed brownie I was about to eat
Don't date people who read Thought Catalog.
sometimes i think "i really gotta get my life together" and my first big move is to close like five tabs
How come we never hear the stories of people who clawed their way to success out of bitterness and spite?
Yay to @ma_franks for shutting down immature, sexist @vice cofounder who believes most women should just raise kids. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/21/gavin-mcinnes-women-workplace_n_4138741.html?utm_hp_ref=tw …
That awkward moment when a guy you're texting asks to see a topless pic of you and you send him a url.
What do you mean no one makes sexy caskets?
Never lose weight for a guy because what if he doesn't like you anyway? You'll just think fuuuck, I could've been eating so much dessert.
Just once I'd like to see someone take the stage to accept an Oscar and say, "Fuck you. No seriously, fuck almost every one of you."
Writer. ✒️✏️ Hey, what's up, hello. Follow @firstdraftevent.
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