@yhf's most faved Tweets...
Wow, so THIS is why you guys sit around on the Internet with no pants. I've never felt so free!
The barista's getting annoyed, though.
The barista's getting annoyed, though.
Just left the bar. Did you guys know you can leave while you're still able to walk?! I like to learn new things.
Oldest didn't tell a teacher when youngest hit him at day care. He told me, "It's a family problem." I feel like Don Corleone.
Ashton Kutcher recommending Favrd is kind of like a racehorse extolling the virtues of the glue factory.
"Once upon a time, I was falling in love; now I'm only falling apart."
Did you guys know this song ISN'T about leprosy?!
Did you guys know this song ISN'T about leprosy?!
There is no lower feeling than realizing you'd have to lose weight to successfully hang yourself from most supports in your house.
What evil lurks in the hearts of men? I don't know. Let's ask this guy who just put "My Humps" on the jukebox.
Twitter is the only environment where saying "all-girl squirting orgy!" to someone I admire and respect could be considered remotely okay.
There is a thin line between waiting for a response to a question and a prolonged awkward silence.
Someone needs to teach Dora about this.
Someone needs to teach Dora about this.
I have the heart of a poet, but I didn't have room in the freezer for it and it went bad pretty quickly.
Whoa, missy. I don't know what those boots are really made for, but walking is definitely secondary.
Ex is spending the night at her new place for the first time! It would be nice if she was using her own bank account for the first time too.
Woke up from a half-hour nap and Sarah Palin resigned.
Tempted to just go to bed now to see what else my subconscious can do to reality.
Tempted to just go to bed now to see what else my subconscious can do to reality.
When you have children of a certain height and age, the term "cock-block" is less about getting laid and more about OW CASE IN POINT OH GOD
Your reaction to the odor in the men's room borders on hysterical. Save your moral outrage for when the break room smells that way.
I don't know what the hell Animal from the Muppets is, exactly, but I'd like to think that that is my spirit animal.
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