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Everyone's all "blah blah Silverstein, best book ever",yeah but here's the thing:the kid is an asshole and the tree is clinically depressed.
Last thing (warning: ranty). I have something to tell you guys. This may shock and horrify you.
That book "The Giving Tree"?
"Why isn't there a Kid's Day?" - the asshole who destroyed your vagina with his big, fat head
Nothing makes my nostrils channel their inner Vivica A. Fox like injustice.
Sitting in traffic by strip malls, judging your business's font choices.
Squirrels just wanna have guns
what if we weren't water proof
"wtf did i just watch?" - 20% of youtube users.
Dreamed I used instagram to take photos of mundane things using dramatic filters and they were indistinguishable from the rest of instagram.
"All the best" on a work leaving card translates as "I didn't know you" or perhaps, "I knew you, but did not like you."
Ebay T&Cs for May 2013: meet me behind the bike sheds with a pack of your gran's cigs and some White Lightning
No one can see your jokes about service outages until the outages are over which makes them Mobius strips of never-relevant topical humor
I’ve got some things to say about this supposed Brooklyn music scene don’t get me started seriously please don't
My favorite episode is the one where Dr. Dre overpowered Dudley in the back seat of the Enterprise.