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Listening to the 4th anniversary episode of Comedy Bang Bang. Mike the Janitor sounds disturbingly like Artie Lange. #CBB
Taylor Swift is on @60minutes right now and no one will still address which kind of bird she is.
Unemployment rate falls to lowest level since 2008. "GODDAMMIT OBA--hey, wait a second" http://money.cnn.com/2012/12/07/news/economy/november-jobs-report/ …
That song sounded like Husker if they were Canadian and therefore even better than Husker by the grace of God. I need to hear it again.
I can't tell if my speedometer needs recalibration or if every driver I have encountered today is simply thunderously stupid.
Guy Fawkes masks that haven't been touched in years are being picked up again today, by people that confuse personal tragedy with victory.
Boy Scouts of America: Building capable young men since 1910. Me: Growling, "Where the fuck IS this place?!" since 2011.
Ha-ha, Twitter. Your simple ruse of emailing me "Tweets [I've] Missed" to remind me you're here have failed, once aga--FUCK
Nothing says "Hey! You're in the Midwest!" quite like a salad made with iceberg lettuce.
Fox News should stop pretending and just fucking make their logo a silhouette of a pickup truck.
Replying to a lengthy text with only "K" isn't just shorthand for agreement. It's also shorthand for, "I am a massive douche."
I think the ultimate point of social media networks is to have their users forget about them.
@inthefade I'd star that, but that's like offering you $100 in Confederate dollars these days.
Dad Talk at the Scout meeting: "Y'all talkin' about chickens?" "You have goats? Want some?" Yeah, I'm in my element.
Recovering validation addict and amateur of humor.
