@lenadunham Here you go: pic.twitter.com/PTTcwDaS

Chris Brown is the Westboro Baptist Church of music.

I wouldn't do shit for a Klondike Bar.

"I never have any free time." -me checking twitter eight hours a day

'Everybody's favorite song in North Korea is the NBA Theme Song,' says the Wikipedia page I just amended.

Bought a cardigan earlier today. Suffered multiple concussions from the amount of women throwing themselves at me while I exited the store.

"I don't actually watch Shark Week, but I like to let you know it's happening." -Everyone

The reason I'm so fucked up is because I thought the 'D' in 'Disney' was a 'G' for most of my life.

Please ignore this tweet. I'm using it to get out of an awkward social situation.

I spiked my hair once in 2007. Anna Nicole Smith died the next day. I haven't spiked it since.

I'll say 'Bon Iver' however the FUCK I want.

Who am I kidding? I can barely take care of a mustache, much less another human being.

Beyonce broke Twitter.

New Year. New Me. *Eats a box of Krispy Kremes*

Probably shouldn't have eaten those rasins I found in that coat at Goodwill.

My professor told us we're all going to die one day. She broke down crying after that and we're all just kinda sitting here now...

If one more teen mom names her baby 'Jaden' I'm gonna lose it.

Saw a cat earlier. Do you guys believe me, or should I have put it on Instagram?

Done with class at 1? Cool, let's just check Facebook and Twitter for a minute* (*until midnight) -me every single day

A fun thing to do in an elevator with just one other person is to whisper 'stop looking at me' and then hum the Space Jam theme song.