RT @shitmypants: 🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈
🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈
🏈🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕🏈
🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕
🏈🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕🏈
🏈🏈🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🏈🏈
🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈

How is Gus still announcing with all that SC dick in his mouth?!

I just got this in the mail with a copy of the DAT SI. Cutest thing EVER! Crying. pic.twitter.com/28t6fNWg

LOVE counteracts fear, hate, anger, depression, anxiety, regret. We need to love one another, our leaders, our country, our world.

#LastTimeUWBeatUO was 52 dog years ago. Almost 57. #goducks

My friend just texted me that Matt Barkley is gonna cry to his beautician about this while she's frosting his bangs & bleaching his asshole.

Yup. pic.twitter.com/IRz7UMw9

My cinnamon rolls have risen, too.

I feel I've really conquered this pot roast thing. Bring on marriage.

Best. Parents. Ever. pic.twitter.com/WmdzBlIb

Pete Carroll on the sideline looked like a little boy who just saw his first set of tits.

I wonder when automated phone systems will start saying "hashtag" instead of "pound." That will be a sad day.

Just in case you guys were wondering, they make Twitter-themed wedding cards. Appropriate given how we met. pic.twitter.com/wHIao7r0

LMJ, meet bench

I'm licking cheap envelopes and just praying I don't die. #RIPSusan #Seinfeld

I'd like to dedicate my 20,000th tweet to the one and only Chip Kelly. "We love each other." /sobs

Colt is amazeballs.

Someday, my children will ask me why I call it "rolling the window up."

Check out the duck-shaped cloud above Autzen that my friend captured yesterday during the game! #GoDucks @quackcave http://t.co/Zl7rvLzi

Let's rename the parties! Anti-Republican & Anti-Democrat! So sick of this.