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The plans I'd made for today, as with every day, are subject to change per R. Kelly's album release schedule.
"Cannot Take Photo: There is not enough available storage to take a photo. Delete a few of your pictures of dogs."
Girl, if you look half as good naked as you do right now... then you look twice as good with your clothes on as you do with them off.
"I injured my groin playing baseball," is a sentence that starts out strong but ends up a real snoozer.
If anybody wants to jam later, I know all the bass parts to Little Shop of Horrors.
The truth is that Jesus saves everything: gum, Snapple caps, batteries. He's a hoarder.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to Dougie and all his bitches love him.
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