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Do you need to be told to hold my hair while I blow you? Is chivalry fucking dead?
Thank god for boobs, having a personality looks hard.
Im damaged and broken. But don't worry that's what my therapist is for. You're here because apparently he isn't allowed to fuck me.
The thing is, I get to walk away from you.
You have to live with yourself forever.
Reasons not to fuck with a broken girl:
1. The pieces of her heart are sharp & jagged.
2. She will stab you with them.
I came here for cock and instead I found compassion, kindness and humour.
Well, what a fucking waste of time this has been.
Today, I walked out of my house with one suitcase, £200 to my name, two broken ribs, a damaged spine and finally some fucking self respect.
Today my EX husband, who broke my spine, had to watch whilst I WALKED out of the courtroom. That, there is all the alimony I will ever need.
Fuck cuddles after sex, sometimes all I want is a high five.
If I'm begging you to stop, don't ACTUALLY stop. Are you a complete fucking moron?
My god, my name sounds good when you're inside me.
If you love someone let them go?
Humans are dumb as shit.
My husband spelt his own name wrong on our divorce papers. In the 'grounds for divorce' section I just wrote 'see above’.
Dear gorgeous women who are funny too,
Back the fuck off the funny.
How to break a woman:
1. Break down her walls
2. Remind her how it feels to be loved
3. Tell her that she'll never be alone
4. Walk away
If nothing else at least we sleep under the same sky.
If you don't kiss me after I suck your cock, don't worry, I'll just spit it all in the sandwich I make you after.
I'm so poor.
Sent from my iPhone.
You have courage you couldn't possibly know exists, until you are forced to find it.
The most desperate cries for help are masked by silence.
When I need more than 140 characters for my bullshit: http://allthatjasmine.wordpress.com