@yuckyducky's (Nazdaq Dowjoens) most faved Tweets...
If you're purchasing a Dollar Store pregnancy test, I think we both know you can't afford a positive.
I love to put a basketball under my shirt in front of the abortion protesters then walk out of the clinic without it holding a lollipop.
What you don't know is, Obama told Joe Wilson that there would be a DJ and carrot cake before the speech.
I sometimes get jealous when people on Twitter talk about marriage and having babies. But then I just go do whatever it is that I wanna do.
True Story: My iPhone just tried to auto-correct queeftard to queeftastic. I'm teaching it bad habits. Also, I win at life.
There are 2 kinds of people in this world. People who dress their dogs in outfits and people who don't suck at life.
If everybody Wang Chungs tonight then who's gonna keep our airports safe? That's the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard.
Do birds get mad when other birds shit in the bird bath? "Dude what the hell?! That is NOT okay! There's a car RIGHT THERE!"
Coming soon...2 Coreys 1 Casket
"NO! PLEASE DON'T BURY ME WITH HIM! I'M MY OWN COREY! I'M MY OWN COREY!"
"NO! PLEASE DON'T BURY ME WITH HIM! I'M MY OWN COREY! I'M MY OWN COREY!"
Non-smokers will never know the horror of dropping a cigarette in the car while on the highway. Except that guy I hit.
People are now seeing if they can retract their Haiti donations to afford the iPad. Text "Need iPad Sorry" to 90999.
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar