Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The end of the world isn't really as noticeable as I was lead to believe it would be.
Tweet others as you wish to be tweeted.
Dear people, BE NICER TO EACH OTHER.
"I'm running like 3 hours behind, bro."
I got 99 problems & math is 2 of them!
Sex is just like riding a bike (if you fuck bikes).
IT'S TIME TO STOP EBOLA! You can help by dumping a milkshake on your head and posting the video online!!!
I started going to the gym so I could get a six-pack but then I remembered they don’t even sell beer!
Looking to hire someone to hit the gym for me 2-3x/week. Serious inquiries only. Thx.
OVERHEARD AT COFFEE SHOP JUST NOW: “This guy is totally eavesdropping on us.”
I can't afford therapy so I just eat a lot of fortune cookies.
I have typo bloood.
An actress I know is getting breast implants but she has to because she has a deviated septum.
Milwaukee's Worst must be fucking awful.
I don't always tweet complete thoughts, but when I do,
Are you there, God? It's me, Zack. Margaret had swim practice today. She wrote down all her usual crap. DM me when u ready! Peace!
Kanye West is gonna LOVE the new Kanye West album!
None of my friends have health insurance but they do all have podcasts.
new brain. who dis?