Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The end of the world isn't really as noticeable as I was lead to believe it would be.
Tweet others as you wish to be tweeted.
Dear people, BE NICER TO EACH OTHER.
"I'm running like 3 hours behind, bro."
I got 99 problems & math is 2 of them!
Sex is just like riding a bike (if you fuck bikes).
IT'S TIME TO STOP EBOLA! You can help by dumping a milkshake on your head and posting the video online!!!
I started going to the gym so I could get a six-pack but then I remembered they don’t even sell beer!
Looking to hire someone to hit the gym for me 2-3x/week. Serious inquiries only. Thx.
OVERHEARD AT COFFEE SHOP JUST NOW: “This guy is totally eavesdropping on us.”
I can't afford therapy so I just eat a lot of fortune cookies.
I have typo bloood.
An actress I know is getting breast implants but she has to because she has a deviated septum.
Milwaukee's Worst must be fucking awful.
I don't always tweet complete thoughts, but when I do,
Are you there, God? It's me, Zack. Margaret had swim practice today. She wrote down all her usual crap. DM me when u ready! Peace!
Kanye West is gonna LOVE the new Kanye West album!
None of my friends have health insurance but they do all have podcasts.
This Uber driver's screenplay makes my accountant's TV pilot look like my handyman's podcast!