Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The end of the world isn't really as noticeable as I was lead to believe it would be.
Tweet others as you wish to be tweeted.
Dear people, BE NICER TO EACH OTHER.
Sex is just like riding a bike (if you fuck bikes).
I have typo bloood.
An actress I know is getting breast implants but she has to because she has a deviated septum.
Milwaukee's Worst must be fucking awful.
Are you there, God? It's me, Zack. Margaret had swim practice today. She wrote down all her usual crap. DM me when u ready! Peace!
Kanye West is gonna LOVE the new Kanye West album!
None of my friends have health insurance but they do all have podcasts.
People who assume it's okay to go on eBay while intoxicated have got another thing coming!
Enough with all the pinata-bashing!
There's no fucking way I'm waiting in line for the Museum of Tolerance.
Real housewives don't have TV deals.
I forgot that I stashed ecstasy in my Mucinex bottle. I'm still totally congested but it feels fucking AMAZING!
We’re all just trying to make the best of the 140 characters that we’ve been dealt.
Why do self-playing pianos always have benches?
Have something urgent to tell a cluster of floating garbage? Send a message in a bottle!