"Whoops! Somebody already tweeted that". Twitter should say that whenever someone steals a tweet.

I'm so cool I wasn't actually born, I was defrosted.

You are the utter embodiment of the fuck that I do not give.

Fuckin' Grammar. http://t.co/CWbJB5rN

If everyday is a gift. Who do I return Monday to?

For sentimental reasons, I'm going mental.

In this rainy weather you are my favorite sweater.

I just wrote you a song in my head and it starts with "Nanananananana, fuck you"

When I was a kid my mom said too much masturbating would make me go blind. I practice getting dressed in the dark, just in case.

If I could accumulate the love and misses I feel during our distance, I could traverse this universe in a million instance.

Every fiber of my being longs for you but I dare not say how much of you, I miss.

My silence doesn't mean I'm not dying to talk to you.

There is a difference between giving up, and knowing when you have had enough.

This is going nowhere? But nowhere is somewhere I'd like to go with you.

If you can't kill them, confuse them to death.

Duct tape is silver but silence is golden.

You had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

They said, follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

I changed my password to "incorrect". That way when I forget, the computer will tell me "your password is incorrect"

A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.