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  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Co-workers are like falling trees in that if I can't hear them they don't exist.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    tamekiabrierley__elinacarothersU__Queennxem________Xochitlshsy______Kanishazgzv______Eugenieuytk______Christentsdq______Jeaniekqvy____
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Love getting so drunk you wake up somewhere random, except once i'd rather it be Hawaii instead of a park bench with half my organs missing.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    ChiefTwittlerCarter_TCBCarmel_Coleman1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Please don't speak to me today...we'll both regret it.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    wickernutter1evilidiot
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Who will stop the pirates now?? #saveweymouthcoastguard

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBRamblingMachine__
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    David_J_Vaughan__
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    I can never forgive the Italians for inventing different textures of milk and for somehow making them all so damn important to people.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    ChiefTwittlerCarter_TCB1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Wish it was just me and the music... But no the bar's got a gang of piss-water drinking teens in breathing my air and absorbing my sub-bass.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ChiefTwittlertamazetram
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Does applying vaseline to doorknobs count as an 'interest'? Eugh...I hate CV's.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ChiefTwittlermyles_morrison
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy sitting on a bench last night.... He told me to fuck off and buy my own.

    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ZenAlez
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    I know I've got to where I want to be in life when playboy bunnies are handing me coke-rimmed margarita's. Oh, and I can fly.

    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ZenAlez
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Annoying thing about drinking at work is that when you do stupid shit you've gotta pretend you're just stupid. And sober.

    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ZenAlez
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    @1evilidiot cheers again mate! Ill get on the avi, was kinda liking the mystery aspect, thought it made me a bit of an eneggma.

    • 1
    • FAV
    1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    An xbox headset is the best form of birth control.

    • 1
    • FAV
    1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Don't know why I'm getting angry about things I can't change when clearly I should be drinking and writing funny tweets.

    • 1
    • FAV
    1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Ironic that normal people won't trust me with mundane secrets while dealers will happily trust me with as much drugs and cash as I can carry

    • 1
    • FAV
    1evilidiot
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    Keep finding unexplained little cuts all over my knuckles... Like I blacked out and tried to fist a porcupine.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Keys_ToMe
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    'Nips' is the most whimsical of expletives.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Keys_ToMe
  • zenaleks
      Aleks @zenaleks

    #ff @1evilidiot Funniest guy I'm following

    • 1
    • FAV
    1evilidiot
@zenaleks

@zenaleks

I've just made you read a pointless sentence.