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  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Covering a camel toe with a fanny pack is proof that two wrongs don't make a right.

    • 1,240
    • FAVS
    TimeChangeGirljohnbiehlthenardslovaSocialExtortionLang__LangerrhmagerdMarkAFuqua_HuntoldsoulV
    • 560
    • RETWEETS
    errhmagerdthatdutchpersonTlaxBoy05BareChesty_keels_iChicksOnlyWendyKitchenerSkellie10Ten
    seagullskiTheTennisPhenomSteelFontanaMaui_Speaks______
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Class action lawsuits are gangs for white people.

    • 1,083
    • FAVS
    TimeChangeGirlMarkAFuqua_HuntRichBeingRichprncss_fifiPamfusciousbsaunde22thatdutchpersonpaulyewest
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
    MarkAFuqua_Huntprncss_fifibsaunde22rikpayneTlaxBoy05southrngrace420LKDub_11Scigglez__________
    Sarcasmo718yzuppjimmyfairplay____wheelfreedRitleySammich
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Stay in school kids. You can't afford premium quality drugs without an education.

    • 840
    • FAVS
    thatdutchpersonlucbeebssgtpd75MrNickNorumpledforskinfizzlestothetop__rutesperanzapogue_brian
    • 453
    • RETWEETS
    rumpledforskinfizzlestothetop__TlaxBoy05WhitnutsBareChestyfactoryPatternvermakshitizkariagaurav
    fizzlestothetop__Tuna_LoverDawnAnonymous____KipatongaryanincoGroperCleveland
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    This donut scented car air freshener is going to pay for itself next time I get pulled over.

    • 778
    • FAVS
    MarkAFuqua_Huntthatdutchpersonpogue_brianmynameshankTlaxBoy05WhitnutsBareChestyericsshadow
    • 261
    • RETWEETS
    MarkAFuqua_HuntTlaxBoy0557thStateTweetrinkaddict13cunt_suck____tastathTheMichaelRockcrunchenhancer
    cynicuhlGimpySunshine____lucyworld1splinter295______
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    I don't see any reason why boxed wine shouldn't come with a little straw stuck to the side.

    • 651
    • FAVS
    24HourBitchingLazloGustoALadiesHeartMarkAFuqua_Huntburried_secretsKeepstaticzinni426WittySassBasket
    • 308
    • RETWEETS
    devinewitch3______ALadiesHeartBatmanc_MarkAFuqua_HuntWittySassBasketbsaunde22Ms612RecklessVagrant
    katy_baybay
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    If you're not part of the solution you're probably someone I could be friends with.

    • 591
    • FAVS
    MarkAFuqua_Huntbsaunde22thatdutchpersongokananasvajenymynameshankBareChestyTheMichaelRock
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    MarkAFuqua_Huntthatdutchpersongokananasf_ckyourmoralsmynameshank57thStateTweetrcrunchenhancerSSnatter
    SonOfChaChelseaK22DukeOfOyl________
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Whenever I hear, "this call may be recorded for training purposes" I take it as a challenge.

    • 517
    • FAVS
    DeadRabbit69AlisonzombielanMarkAFuqua_HuntthatdutchpersonmynameshankBareChestyThatDentGirlsandboxtoy
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    MarkAFuqua_HuntenglishtweetieThatDentGirlsandboxtoySupertwinsdadchowdersoopisolotravellerjohnnyCul
    joeyhuggles______iTweetMedicated__
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    The kids in this carpool are so loud I can't hear myself drink.

    • 492
    • FAVS
    thatdutchpersonslowroast77katcrosbmynameshankWhitnutsBareChestyTheMichaelRockshannokay
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    mynameshankBareChestycrunchenhancerGenevieve040413FIGHTXIIINurseRatchet719tiffinysawyersei8htiesbaby
    HannahAnticsjohnnydeeeee
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Nice try female porn stars. The rest of us can get the job done in 1/10th the time.

    • 422
    • FAVS
    thatdutchpersonmynameshankBareChestyTheMichaelRockdafloydstaThynebearVikeeysSecretParentpains
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    thatdutchpersoncrunchenhancerh4zybear__________AustinCyr_you_right_nowcanadasandraducksthoughtsbfrosty04________
    ColoradoCrow
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    I try to get my recommended daily allowance of water by ordering all my drinks on the rocks.

    • 428
    • FAVS
    gokananasmynameshankWhitnutsBareChestybarleyliteratiParentpainscrunchenhancerAustinCyr
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    gokananasgibbetcrunchenhancercuntsiclesreload2014profboozerKelsieandHobbesSmooheed
    seriousprobz______
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    I was out of cellphone range for about 3 minutes there so I know what it's like to be brought back to life on the operating table.

    • 377
    • FAVS
    Chris540i6thatdutchpersonHacknSpraypogue_brianmynameshankTrueAimStrengthBareChestyParentpains
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    pogue_brianBareChestycrazyforcowboysJVarsityCaptainMcInappropriatenowtherapyfreeMichelleRomanoskaitlynsup
    BootsieTweetsEmoSobby
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Today Brad and Angelina filed adoption papers for Beyonce's baby.

    • 254
    • FAVS
    whatitsmenejbsaunde22ASpikerHacknSprayMikeSchismmynameshankGenevieve0404TweetingDadGuy
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    bsaunde22benittto5Favstar250AaronMichael___niixieVerifiedJayy______Just_some_girl2AndRyanTF________
    jefftminstonGoGoTaggBootsieTweetsMosedogg
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Interviewer asked where I see myself in 5 yrs: "With 6 digit stars & maybe a couple favstar trophies. I'll have internet access, right?"

    • 220
    • FAVS
    thatdutchpersonGenevieve0404lawyerthoughtsLakeoconeebldrvajjiefbabySilleVioDoom_JediAJO4EVER
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    B_poling82Boobzillazsweetandweak______TeflonPawnCool_JesseDawnAnonymous____chagger73monstabrat________
    iNusku____________
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    I would totally go to Twitter rehab




    if I knew all of you would be there.

    • 159
    • FAVS
    BaxDoll__________eyeamImranwhatitsmenejHacknSprayChromeBabyMommaMagoosbackAnitaAlibiTrueAimStrength
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Appalachian304eyeamImranwhatitsmenejChromeBabyMommaMagoosbackAnitaAlibiTrueAimStrengthGenevieve0404
    partyvita
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Your new password cannot be any of the last 6,452 passwords you used, or the one you're thinking of now.

    • 128
    • FAVS
    TimeChangeGirlteeaysmithTeflonPawn_jennjennjohnbiehlChris540i6curiousteejSocialExtortion
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    Chris540i6errhmagerdThat_KoalaWesTheFatKid______favstar1000favsmissymsmith1Ally_BronB_D_Shaw
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    I'm in charge of the cooler for the picnic at the lake today. There is only room for beer & a few straws for the kids to drink lake water.

    • 147
    • FAVS
    gokananasMaxine12333LoganNotLoginSilleVioAJO4EVERchagger73KatarinaKrizagent_0rang3
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    gokananasGenevieve0404Tristan_Brucewikwikwak________DoctorBenDover____Loli_SugBmoreLikeNitaRandy_was_here
    awesomeseank
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Tonight Bill will whisper to Hillary, "How about a Lewinsky?" closely followed by, "Too soon?"

    • 154
    • FAVS
    errhmagerdwhatitsmenejrider018loribuckmajorASpikerHacknSprayMikeSchismSteelFontana
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    joeyhuggles______FierceMessfavstar1000favsJust1Tyme________ElCrabadorFavstar500FavsFSUSteve__________LakeOconeeBldr____
    FSUSteve__________
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    The best time to tell someone they were adopted is at a family reunion.

    • 139
    • FAVS
    HacknSpraypogue_brianLoganNotLoginSilleViojusthighenough____DawnAnonymous____madamesnooty______TeflonPawn
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    ColeManMythLgndBradBroaddusFierceMessfavstar1000favsi_am_AlfredoSpotswoj__________GoGoTaggLeighReyes
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    Anyone else have hard feelings lasting more than 4 hours?

    • 127
    • FAVS
    BaxDoll__________whatitsmenejbsaunde22ASpikerHacknSprayTrueAimStrengthLBelle1ColoChiver
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    BaxDoll__________whatitsmenejbsaunde22favstar_historyAndRyanTF________favstar1000favswhyhelloclariceGoGoTagg
    Mosedogg
  • zgbetty
      Kilo Charlie @zgbetty

    It's too bad starring our own tweets is not as widely accepted as masturbating.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    LoganNotLoginSilleVioDawnAnonymous____EvilPandaXbillymeetsworldKentTheG__________TeflonPawnWildeThingy
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    AndRyanTF________favstar1000favsPretzelNYA_SmartAssFavstar500Favsl1zerdmytweecwetlife____FapCop
    l1zerd
@zgbetty

@zgbetty

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